Some couples come to their wedding day with a blank slate. Kate and Mitchell came with twelve years, a two-year-old son, and a very clear sense of what they wanted their celebration to actually mean.

Their wedding at The Anchorage Port Stephens was never going to be a traditional affair. Thirty-eight guests, no wedding party, no first dance, and a guest list so carefully considered that every single person in the room had been in their lives for fifteen years or more. What it was, was intentional. Every, single partof it.

This is Kate’s story, in her own words, with beautiful photography thanks to Sarbo Studio.

We met at a pub. Mitch had been at a bucks party and I was there for a friend’s birthday. I saw him walking through the crowd and had a friend approach him on my behalf. That was nearly twelve years ago.

Over those years we had always been open about our timeline. We wanted to start a family first, so that our children could be part of our wedding in some way. We subtly checked in with my parents, who were supportive, and that cemented our decision. So when Mitchell proposed, I was completely caught off guard.

We were at a restaurant for our tenth anniversary. A staff member offered to take a photo of us, and when I looked up, Mitchell was on one knee. It was the night before our son Darby’s first birthday. All of our family and friends were already arriving the next day to celebrate that. We ended up celebrating two major moments at once.

We had always talked about what our wedding would look like, and once we started planning it became clear very quickly what mattered to us. After parenthood, so much of your identity becomes child-centred. We wanted to honour that, but we also wanted to honour us. The couple that existed before we became Mum and Dad.

We chose not to have a wedding party. We kept our guest list to thirty-eight people, all of whom have been in our lives for fifteen years or more. That meant some incredibly difficult conversations. We invited immediate family only, and five friends each, without their partners. We reflect on that decision often. It was hard. But standing hand in hand with Mitchell and looking out at those forty people, all of them people who truly know us, was one of the most precious moments of my life. I’d go through all the wedding planning stress again just to relive it.

Our wedding was held at The Anchorage Port Stephens, a luxury boutique resort with a Hamptons-chic aesthetic on the NSW coastline. We spent three nights there as a group. The night before the wedding we hosted a welcome event at Moby’s Bar, which has this beautiful mix of yesteryear and seaside charm. On the wedding day we were married outside with luxury yachts moored behind us, and hosted our cocktail hour and reception in the resort’s newly built Sunset Terrace on the water’s edge. We were the first wedding reception in that space. The pink sunset that flooded the sky that evening felt made for us.

My dress was the Ariane by Hera Couture. A strapless bodice with exposed boning, a basque waist, and a dramatic royal organza skirt with multilayer tulle. It was the first wedding dress I ever tried on and the one I kept coming back to. After alterations, while I was waiting for the wedding day, I started second-guessing myself. But the moment I put it on that morning, I felt completely at ease. It fit like it was made for me.

I paired it with Hael and Jax vintage crinkle heels, a short veil, dé-sur jewellery, and a Tendresse Studio hand-crafted silk bridal bag. Mitchell wore a classic black tuxedo (from Rundle Tailoring) with a slightly oversized bow tie as a feature piece and black buttons for a modern edge.

Music was important to us. We believe it builds atmosphere in a way nothing else can. Uptown the Band performed throughout our ceremony and cocktail hour. For the reception, we brought in a saxophonist to join them, and it was sensational. We also had personalised tambourines for every guest, which brought the dance floor to life even for those who wouldn’t normally be on it. At the end of the night, our florist (Sage Blossoming) wrapped bouquets of flowers for every guest to take back to their rooms. It sounds like a small thing but our guests loved it, and so did we.

I walked down the aisle with my dad to Endless Love. But the moment that undid everyone came just before that, while Mitchell was waiting at the altar. I had arranged for a recording of Darby to be played over the sound system.

“Hi Daddy, it’s Darby. You are about to marry Mummy. I love you Daddy. Here comes Mummy.”

That moment will stay with me forever.

An unplanned moment that also lives rent-free in my mind: my dad got up and performed Flame Trees by Cold Chisel with the band. He was a musician in his younger days. Nobody saw it coming. Everyone lost it.

We skipped the first dance. We skipped the formal reception formalities. Speeches were the only planned moment of the reception, because we wanted to be present with our guests rather than moving through a run sheet. We have no regrets about that.

The day after the wedding, the men played golf at Horizons Golf Club while the women spent the day at the adults-only infinity pool with watermelon and icy poles. It was exactly right.

Getting into bed that night, Mitchell turned to me and said: “I wish I could bottle up this feeling and drink a little bit every day.” I couldn’t agree more.

Kate’s advice for couples marrying after becoming parents: It’s okay to focus on your identity as a couple rather than as parents. After parenthood, so much of who we are becomes child-centred, and taking a moment to honour your relationship is so important. You don’t have to fit the traditional mould. Stay true to what you both actually want, even when it means difficult conversations.