When you’re deep in wedding planning, it’s easy to get caught up in decisions about colours, guest lists, or seating charts. But, beneath all the logistics lies something far more important – how you actually see marriage. What have you been taught it should look like? What have you witnessed, absorbed, or assumed about long-term love? Taking the time to explore these questions now, not years down the track, can help you build a marriage that’s not just beautiful on the outside, but deeply intentional on the inside too. A big thanks to the wonderful Natalie Claire King for sharing her tips today on Polka Dot Wisdom for redefining marriage on your own terms. 

Photography: Jack Chauvel Photography via Manoshi & Shanuka’s Colourful Sri Lankan Wedding At Wallalong House 

Forget the outdated rulebook – modern love looks different, and that’s a beautiful thing.

More than ever before, couples are reimagining what marriage can be. It’s not about checking off a list of milestones or meeting society’s expectations. Instead, today’s couples, especially millennials are crafting partnerships that reflect who they are, what they value, and how they want to live.

Marriage, once seen as a default life step, is now an intentional choice. And with that comes the freedom (and the responsibility) to shape it consciously.

Photography: Ada + Ivy Photography via Michael & Emma’s Classic Winery Wedding at Zonzo Estate 

Making It Intentional

More than ever before, marriage is becoming a conscious choice rather than a life requirement. For many modern couples, especially millennials, the decision to marry is based on alignment, not obligation. It’s no longer about ticking off a traditional milestone, it’s about creating a relationship that reflects your values, dreams, and lifestyle.

This cultural shift is opening the door for couples to approach marriage with more intention and clarity. Without the pressure to conform, partners are asking deeper questions: Why are we choosing this? What kind of marriage do we want? What does commitment really mean to us?

This space where marriage is chosen, not assumed, gives couples the freedom to build a partnership that’s more thoughtful, more authentic, and more deeply aligned with who they are.

Photography: Martine Payne via Cherise & Norm’s Intimate Beach Wedding in Shoal Bay 

The Couples You Admire

Think of the couples in your life you truly admire. What is it about their relationship that resonates with you?

Maybe it’s the way they share responsibilities without keeping score. Maybe they laugh a lot, or navigate challenges with tenderness and teamwork. Maybe they’ve built a relationship that bends and stretches to fit their evolving lives.

Ask yourself:

● What do you love about their dynamic?

● How do they do love?

● What can you learn from them and what do you want to do differently?

Great relationships rarely follow one-size-fits-all formulas. They’re built with intention, adaptability, and a clear sense of what matters most.

Photography: It’s Beautiful Here via Stacey & Tom’s Summer Elopement at the Old Treasury Building 

Redefining the Rules: Start With Real Conversations

If you’re planning for marriage, this is your chance to break the rules and write new ones that feel true to you.

Start with these two big areas where couples are doing things differently:

Love and Money

It’s not just about who pays for dinner. Financial conversations are one of the most crucial (and often avoided) parts of a thriving partnership.

Maybe you want to keep finances separate. Maybe you’ll have a joint account and still hold onto your own. There’s no wrong answer, just your answer.

Here are some helpful conversation starters:

● Are you a saver or a spender?

● How do you feel about debt?

● What are our priorities for spending, saving, or investing?

● How will we split financial responsibilities?

● What does financial independence mean to each of us?

● How do we approach retirement or long-term goals?

It’s not about agreeing on everything, it’s about building financial transparency and teamwork.

Photography: Lauren Wild Creative via Rachel & Matt’s Chic Surprise Wedding at The Calile Hotel 

Talk Dirty To Me

There’s no universal rule for how often you “should” be having sex. The more important question is: Are we talking about it?

Open communication about sex is one of the strongest predictors of relationship satisfaction. That means talking about desires, preferences, fears, boundaries, and fantasies, without shame or defensiveness.

Try these prompts:

● How do we each define intimacy?

● What helps us feel emotionally and physically close?

● What are our needs when it comes to sex and affection?

● How do we want to keep passion alive as life evolves?

● What would feel fun, exciting, or connecting to try?

A thriving sex life doesn’t hinge on frequency, it’s built on trust, curiosity, and a shared sense of safety.

Photography: Maple and June via Brett & Alex’s Floral-Infused Garden Wedding in Sydney 

Your Marriage, Your Way

The truth is: there is no one way to do marriage “right.” What matters is that you decide together what feels nourishing, respectful, and real for your relationship.

Maybe you’ll swap traditional gender roles. Maybe you won’t merge last names. Maybe you’ll live apart, travel together, raise kids as co-parents, or choose a child-free life. Whatever your choices, they’re valid – as long as they’re intentional.

This is your love story. You get to write it.

Author: Natalie Claire King 

About the author: Natalie is a relationship specialist trained in couples therapy, providing a customised pre-marriage counselling course that helps couples build a solid foundation for a powerful, fulfilling and intimate life-long relationship together. Natalie tailors the course specifically to each couple’s goals in order to bring out the best in them – so they can bring out the best in their relationship. As a trained and licensed therapist, Natalie is unbiased in her approach and provides a balanced service – which means each partner has equal opportunity to express their unique perspectives without Natalie taking sides. Book a complimentary Intro Chat to see if a Pre Marriage Counselling course could be right for you.

Thank you to Natalie Claire King for reminding us that marriage isn’t one-size-fits-all—it’s a reflection of who we are and what we value. As you plan your wedding, may you feel empowered to shape your relationship with intention, clarity, and heart.