The journey to your wedding day is filled with unforgettable moments and cherished milestones. From the exhilarating exchange of “I love you,” to the life-changing “Marry me?” and the joyous “Yes,” each word holds profound significance. On Polka Dot Wisdom today, we have the founder of The Nuptial Nest, Caitlin Bonser sharing all the essential tips on how to craft vows that capture the essence of your unique love story. Here’s your guide to writing personalised wedding vows. 

Photo via Grace & Dan’s Pastel Spring Wedding at Spicers Guesthouse 

Three words can say so much.

Two words can cause change.

One word can mean the difference and the answer.

‘I love you.’ – 3 words

‘Marry me?’ – 2 words

‘Yes.’ – 1 word

Now that you’ve exchanged those words, I offer you a huge CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED TO YOUR PERSON!

Photo via Jasmin & Dean’s Cosy Wedding at The Barn on the Ridge

It’s now time for the next important words you will say to your partner, your vows.

My mission is to assist people who are getting married by writing words that will:

  • Remain timeless to them.
  • Personalised to them.
  • And just full of that good, old feeling — LOVE.

Photo via Raffaella Dice of Dream Creative 

Vows can be overwhelming. The idea of making promises to someone for the rest of each other’s lives can be overwhelming.

But in reality, it doesn’t have to be.

Photo via Deb and Charli’s Rustic Wedding at Chapel Farm

These are my three top tips when it comes to writing your vows.

  1. Start the inspiration process early. Now, I’m not saying to start the moment he/she/they puts the ring on your finger. Soak and drench in that moment for as long as possible. You are meant to engage in your engagement. But once it’s all calmed down a bit, I suggest you start jotting down things about your partner that make you laugh, that make you love them harder, that have made you wiser, that have made you stronger — all the reasons that have made you love their presence in your life a little bit more every day. Write down memories that you treasure and future goals you have as a couple and as individuals. You’ll find if you start doing this early in the wedding prep process, you’ll find yourself thankful that you did because usually, finding the inspiration for your vows, can be the hardest and most time-consuming part of writing the vows.
  2. Construction of the vows. Start thinking about the construction of your vows. So, think about elements like the tone you want to voice. — Do you want your vows to have a tone of humour in them? Are you more of a romantic and poetic person when you talk, is that your tone? Are you simple and to the point? Is that your distinct tone? Also think about the beginning, middle and end. What parts of your inspiration do you want to use where? Remember though, vows can only go from 1 – 3 minutes so make sure you pull from your inspiration the things that are most important to you. The reason why vows pack a punch is because, in a small amount of time, you have to say everything that means the most to you about your partner and the promises you wish to make to them, for the rest of your life.
  3. Say them out loud. Please don’t be one of those people who waits till the day of their wedding to say their vows aloud for the first time. It’s one thing to write your vows. It’s something entirely different to physically voice them. When you’re writing, you don’t account for pauses you might make to catch your breath. Moments of emotion where you might need to pause. We write the inspiration from our heart, we construct the vows with our head and then we speak our vows using every inch of our body and soul. So make sure you say them to not only make sure they sound cohesive and clear but to make sure they sound meaningful. Especially the actual promises (the vows themselves) that you make. You will look back to those promises not just on the day of your wedding but for every moment of your marriage. These words individually may just be words. But when you put them all together, they make one hell of a martial moment.

Photo via Sarah & Luke’s Rustic Winter Wedding in Geelong

I can’t stress this enough; vows are not just for your wedding day. They are for the rest of your married life. These words you will think about in trying times, loving times, funny times and will be what you hang on to as the most important words you might say to your partner. If you follow these three tips, your vows will meet all these future moments with strength and soul.

Photo via Gaya & Sam’s Luxury Rural Wedding at Petrichor Farm

Caitlin is the founder of  The Nuptial Nest. A service based business where she writes bespoke wedding poems, wedding vows and wedding speeches for individuals who are struggling to convey their love in such a way that it will impact them and their partner and be words that last a lifetime. Caitlin specialises in crafting personalised wedding vows as she believes weddings have changed so much in the last 10 years. We are seeing less cookie-cutter, been-said-before vows and we are diving into a new, more modernised way of voicing promises and declaring our love and life to someone.