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“To Love is Not to Possess” by James Kavanaugh

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.

Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom

That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are

No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment to one another – and to one’s inner self.

Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide in the moon’s own predictable harmony,

Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are – and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being where true and lasting love can alone abide.

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