Weddings are a celebration of love. It only seems fair that couples get to decide how it’s done! For Molly and Malcolm, they had a “no compromises” kind of mindset when it came to wedding planning.
From the ceremony, venue, and music, down to the attire, Molly and Malcolm’s wedding was 100% their own. In this chat, they shared all the intimate details of their nuptials and how their chosen vendors fulfilled their vision of a dramatic and moody wedding.
In this chat we discuss:
- How Molly and Malcolm first met
- Molly and Malcolm’s engagement story
- Deciding on a wedding theme
- How they booked the Old Melbourne Gaol
- Their special ceremony that made everyone cry
- Unique music arrangements and party favours
- Finding and trusting your vendors
- Communication while wedding planning
As a self-proclaimed quirky couple, Molly and Malcolm knew their day would be nothing like the usual cookie-cutter weddings. Instead of doing things for tradition’s sake, they were intentional about each aspect. Since they were funding their wedding themselves, there was no pressure to conform to other people’s standards.
To find the right vendors, they put in a lot of research. They caution couples to not settle for the first vendor they find and to dig around a little bit more. Once you find your people, don’t be afraid to trust them. In Molly and Malcolm’s case, they only provided short briefs to their vendors, which lead to amazing results. And of course, it was their clear communication as a couple that made wedding planning a breeze.
Links & Vendors Mentioned:
Find Molly & Malcolm:
Find Dorothy & the Polka Dot Wedding team:
On Instagram: @polkadotwedding
On the website: polkadotwedding.com
This podcast was produced by Polka Dot Wedding.
The Polka Dot Wedding team is honoured to conduct our work on the land of the BoonWurrung, WoiWorung, Eora and Kuring-gai people. We honour the traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders custodians of the land and pay our respects to Elders past & present.
Hello and welcome. You’re listening to The Feel Good Wedding Podcast by Polka Dot Wedding. My name is Dorothy, otherwise known as Ms Polka Dot, and I’m the founder and editor. We believe in seeking out content that is inclusive and diverse so that everyone can see themselves in the stories that we tell. We’ve done this for 15 years through the written word, and now we want to have those chats in voice through a podcast. Can’t wait to take you along for the ride.
The Polka Dot Wedding team is honoured to conduct our work on the land of the BoonWurrung, WoiWorung, Eora and Kuring-gai people. We honour the traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander custodians of the land and pay our respects to Elders past and present.
If you are not a fan of traditional wedding venues, if you are looking for something a little bit different, if you love the idea of masses of amazing moody florals and beautiful candlelight and champagne towers and lots of great music and books, then today’s story is for you. It is the tale of Molly and Malcolm and how they tied the knot.
We shared their wedding on Polka Dot Wedding a couple of months ago, and I was so struck by not just how beautiful their wedding was, but about the stories. Because you know the stories are what gets me out of bed. The stories that Malcolm and Molly’s wedding included were beautiful. Because it wasn’t just about ticking boxes.
These two assessed every single tradition that went into their day and re-evaluated it. “How can we make this work for us? How can we make this reflective of us?” And the way that they did it was so beautiful and so different, that I knew I had to chat to them for The Feel Good Wedding Podcast. And today, I’m really lucky because not just one of them, but both Molly and Malcolm have joined us today and the stories they’ve shared and the chat was just really lovely. And such a wonderful way of assessing how you can do your day your way.
So I’m really thrilled about this chat. And I can’t wait for you to meet these two. Hello Molly and Malcolm, thank you so much for joining me today.
Molly and Malcolm:
Hi! Thanks for having us.
I’m so thrilled to talk to you about your day because as I was just saying to you, it wasn’t just absolutely beautiful with the flowers and the candles and all the stunning details. But it was the way that you two really personalized your day and did things that were a little bit off-beat but really personal to you that I really loved. So I can’t wait to dive into all of that.
Yeah, we tried our best.
So you two—we’ll cue it off with how you met. Because you met at work, and it sounded like you had a bit of an instant connection. So who’s going to go first and tell me how you came to be?
I feel like my memory is probably clear on this and Malcolm’s because it was my first job that I’d gotten. Like I was in uni—it was—I applied for this job. I’ve got this job, and it was my first day, and I was so so nervous. And we’re all standing around this big group of people. And then there’s weird dude walks past and he’s got this blazer on with graffiti down one arm and pair of jeans and this gigantic afro and I was like, “Oh my gosh, I think I found someone that’s a bit weird like me.” And then it turned out I was working in the same team as Malcolm, who that turned out to be. From there, I think we just talked almost every day, ever since, for the last 13 years.
Wow, 13 years, I didn’t realise you’ve been together that long.
Meanwhile, she’s doing me an injustice. I remember her quite well from that day too. But there were other priorities that day. The store was re-opening. And the chief executive officer of the company was in the store. So it was pretty high stakes. But I think I mentioned in you know, when we were preparing for the wedding and talking to the celebrant, that, you know, Molly was incredibly confident and incredibly calm. And I felt like if it was her first day and she could take it in stride, then you know, that sort of rubbed off on me a bit as well.
And you became engaged in not quite the way I think you initially wanted to become engaged. So you were initially—I think from the sound of it wanting to become engaged on New Year’s Eve in Hobart but someone close, special to you had some other ideas on thwarting that plan—so can you tell me about that?
Remi, our cat—he got very, very sick and we had to actually abort our Hobart trip and come home and it’s a bit sad. It’s a sad way to talk in a podcast video. He actually passed away that day, but I’m really grateful that we actually went home and we got to hold him and look after him. I much prefer that we did that to look after one of our fur babies than, you know, party and got engaged.
I mean, we ended up getting engaged anyway. But like you say, it was not as planned. But I think like, for me, it was, it was pretty obvious. We’d been together so long. And we were making a commitment and getting married, or intending to get married. But seeing Molly look after Remi was just absolutely confirmation of everything I love about her. You know, her love of animals, her caring nature. Yeah, so I think, you know, both of us, we have priorities, we share similar values. And that was one of the things that, you know, we just had to do and everything else could sort of wait until a different time or the right time for that.
Yeah, Malcolm put in so much effort as well.
There wasn’t great planning involved. So I had met with the jeweller for the engagement ring. But obviously, I didn’t actually have a ring because Molly has very definite ideas about jewellery. So I had some design that went from one of our favourite jewellers that sort of that I put together and, and then I made like a little shoot. She’s big on media, like hardcopy things. So she likes solid books, old-fashioned books, so I put together a little note and it was all—it took me ages on Photoshop. It had a secret compartment as well. She wants a house with a library where you touch a book on the wall, and then a door opens and you go down at a staircase.
That sounds like a dream. They can take a glass of wine in the corner while you’re reading in your secret book nook.
Yeah, all to be achieved.
Exactly. And I think what I loved most about the way that you planned your day was, it was so definitely yours. And it was so very personal to the both of you. And you described your wedding actually as “dark mofo-inspired, romantic, dramatic, quirky, no compromises and very us.” So how did you settle on that foundational vibe of your day in the first place when the wedding world is kind of coming at you with so many ideas and thoughts and things?
Pinterest is a lot. I think for us, you know, we’d seen lots and lots of friends get married. Some had done it, you know, their way. Others had maybe fallen into the path of, I guess being guided by family and or how, “should be done”. And same with family as well—like seeing family members get married too—and I think we just both went, “Look, if we’re going to do this, and we’re going to spend a lot of money on this, it needs to be ours. 100%.”
And I think once we made that choice, it became a lot easier then to start planning the things we actually wanted, and being brutal too and going—because at one point, I went, “I think I want a photo booth.” So at one point we were going, “Do we really actually want a photo booth or is that just what we’re told we should want?” And then we cut it out completely. Like there were things like that happened along the way. And it was just stopping, and not panicking. Yeah, sorry. I’m talking a lot, Malcolm.
It’s okay. I think a lot of those descriptors, we ended up applying retrospectively. But in terms of the dark mo-fo stuff, obviously, you know, intending to be engaged in Hobart, Molly loves Tasmania, and she loves MONA. And so there was just one, I guess, reference image that we gave from Instagram to the florist. That was the that was basically our inspiration. And then we left everything in their hands, and we couldn’t believe the outcome. Just incredible and mind blowing really.
It was. It was. So we have to really start at beginning because your venue really kind of sets the scene for your day. It set the scene for the dramatic, you know, vibes of your day in that you got married at the Melbourne Goal. So how did you decide and find this venue that was so different to a traditional wedding venue?
So it’s funny because like, you’ve probably already guessed, we’re a bit quirky. And I just was like, “I’m getting married. I’m not doing it in a generic space.” And then it became “Okay, let’s search unusual spaces in Melbourne.” And then I narrowed that down to a handful. And I say I—we did it that way. We reached out to this handful of locations and some didn’t even respond. Some responded and they were really difficult to deal with. And then the one that responded and was like, the nicest and easiest to deal with was the Showtime Group who look after the old Melbourne Goal. And from their first email, it felt really good. And then it was a case of, alright, let’s go see the venue. And again, I think I had to win Malcolm over on it.
No, not at all.
You don’t think so? You weren’t into it.
No, no, no. I mean, I think from my perspective, there’s a few reasons the gaol was chosen or the Old Melbourne Gaol was chosen. One is, anywhere we go, we do ghost tours. So Molly’s—and she’s super in—but not so much. I mean, she isn’t into ghosts. But she loves learning the history of a place. And like that, it’s got, I guess, character, and substance as well. And then when we went there, we sort of saw it as a bit of a blank canvas. And the other thing that sort of made me get on board with it or feel that it was appropriate was Molly grew up in Edinburgh, which is obviously a very historic city. And to me, that kind of history was reflected in the Old Melbourne Gaol a little bit. And obviously, you know, some of the history is a bit darker but it was also, you know, an opportunity. And on the day, just the way it was fitted, fitted out was just beyond our expectation.
So did you guys you sort of intimated that you just gave a picture to I presume your florists and probably Showtime as well and said, “This is what we want.” Is that all that you did with your styling? Did you have any more input? They just made all of that happen? You had no thoughts? That’s pretty epic.
Yeah, we put a lot of trust. It was mostly in our florists. You know, we met with them, showed them that picture. That was a one reference picture. Like I promise you that was it. And I said I want candles. And I want colour. And yeah, I wanted to make it pop. Oh, and we said, “If things can be floating in the air, that would be really good too.”
So tall order there, really. Can I have a unicorn please?
A unicorn is the national emblem or animal of Scotland actually.
Oh, well there you go.
We honestly, like, and you sound quite surprised. And our friends and family couldn’t believe that we did this as well. But there was a lot of research as well, that went into the florist we picked.
Which is the important thing, isn’t it? That’s why you choose vendors that you trust.
A hundred percent. And don’t necessarily choose based on price either.
So your florist was Botanics of Melbourne. So you obviously loved their work and had full trust in who they were.
Exactly right. And because I actually drive past their shop. I drove past that for like five years straight always going, “I’m going go into their shop and I follow them on Instagram.” So they—and then it was like, Oh my gosh, we actually need a florist now.” So kind of like made sense that that’s—in the end that we looked at others, but yeah.
And we met with them and we had a really good rapport and they seem to understand our requirements. Our demands.
I think a great vendor will always do their best work when they don’t have those restraints, and they just have a brief to work off of. So that’s a really good review of them to be honest, that they were able to take one picture and transform your space into such an epic, amazing space. Well, and what I loved about your day too is you started in this kind of grotto area, and you both walk down the aisle together, which we’ll get to at some point, but your ceremony which was obviously you put a lot of importance into it because you chose amazing music.
And also there was a certain thing that happened with the cue card. So do you want to tell me a bit about your ceremony and how it unfolded and the special things you did within the day?
Yeah, so obviously when we entered the space, I guess the Old Melbourne Gaol and there was a bit of a medley of music we put together sort of—there was some stand up comedy sometime announced or thoughts about marriage and there was a spoken word piece by Nick Cave and then the final song that played was Breathless, which was actually used in the wedding scene in Peaky Blinders as well—which Molly is a huge fan of.
So I’m lucky like she married me and not Cillian Murphy, I think. Being recorded for all perpetuity. I guess we also , our celebrant suggested, you know, we could do things and things and we did ninja vows for each other, which we kind of stitched each other up with a little bit. But my vows, I guess, if you’re asking about them – Molly is a huge fan of romantic comedies.
So I thought it was inspired by a scene from Love Actually, that’s now probably quite problematic in retrospect. And I, but I also have a sort of, I guess, apprehension or anxiety about public speaking. I actually did not speak my vows. So I wrote them all on cue cards. And there was a song playing, which was The Magnetic Fields’ It’s Only Time, which I arranged with the DJ beforehand. I think only maybe three or four people knew what I was doing, which was the celebrant, the DJ, and Showtime who I dropped the cue cards off to the day before. And Molly, I think the day before, Molly was getting her nails done for three or four hours, that gave me a bit of an opportunity.
But I had to do quite a lot of things that day and I think the celebrant was of the opinion that it just was not going to work, even though she knew it was going to happen. And in the end, it was quite nice. And sort of—
I actually asked you at one point to stop.
Because it was becoming a bit emotionally intense for her I think, yeah. But you know, we got that together in the end. And there were a lot of coded messages in the cue cards as well. Like, the last cue card was a line from Almost Famous. But it wasn’t about music. It was about Molly over here.
Yeah, it was so special. And I think every single guest was crying by the end. People who were there, they still bring that up. Like I think people just haven’t seen that done before. And we actually had a live stream to going to my family and friends in the UK, and got messages from them afterwards going, “That was just so unique.” They couldn’t believe it. It’s quite special.
I love it, it made it really yours. And I love that it’s also kind of a way to get over that. Like the vulnerability of professing your innermost thoughts in front of all your family and friends is quite intense. So to get around that by something really romantic is really special.
I think one of the first cards had a joke on it to break the tension and it said something like, “Molly because we agreed I wouldn’t do a PowerPoint presentation.”
I saw that! I was going, “Okay, I need to know the whole story.” So let’s talk about music. Because it’s obviously even from the references you’ve made in our chat, very important to you. And you a special song coming in as you walked down the aisles or down the steps. And then you also welcomed your guests into the reception with another song. And then you had song as the special music thing with your favours. So tell me about all of the different music that you included and how you included it and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, I think obviously the sign when we welcomed the guests into the reception space, which was the long table down the centre of the Old Melbourne Gaol. That was the Prodigy remix of Lust for Life by Iggy Pop.
And what I think is important there is that we actually, we did a room reveal which, at the time I thought was so so cheesy. But we wanted to keep—because where the little grotto was, and then where the table was, it’s actually all in open space in the gaol. So Showtime organized a big curtain to block it off because I really didn’t want anyone to see the florals or the table set up until we were ready.
So we then timed the Iggy Pop song with the curtain being drawn back to like drop when the beat drops to pull back. And that was so cool. And we actually stood inside where the table was and looked at to our guests, so we got to see their reaction to seeing the room. That felt like a reverse entrance.
Instead of them welcoming the newlyweds.
Yeah. Sorry. Music.
No, no, I could go for a tangent.
We actually did something with our guests beforehand. We asked them all what their favourite love song was and we ended up compiling about 100. And obviously they will not fit on an audio CD. And it turned out it didn’t even fit on a data CD. So we created this little CD cover, and it had a range of things on it which I’ll go through but we also had a download link for the 101 songs so they could download them when they got home. And so the front cover of the CD said, “If you’re reading this we’re already married”, which was a take on, you know, the Drake album. And then the inside cover said let love in, which is obviously a Nick Cave one.
We had a light feature that said that as well like a neon sign fluorescent light, which was set up near the entrance when people arrived, and then we had obviously the artists and the songs on on the other inside cover. And on the back cover. We actually used—it’s a meme generator. It’s the album meme generator. And instead of the album, saying “I hate being bipolar, it’s awesome!”, we said, “We love you like Kanye loves Kanye”.
And then of course, that got a bit problematic.
It was probably problematic at the time, but you know. Yeah. Old habits die hard.
I love the stories. I love the stories. So let’s talk about attire. So, Molly, you wanted to skip dress shopping altogether, and you went straight to D’italia who put you in touch with a dressmaker. And Malcolm, you wore a beautiful green suit. So let’s talk about attire. Who wants to go first on this one?
Malcolm’s just pointed at me, so it’s my turn. Dress shopping is not my favourite thing to do in the world, ever. And then add on to that, it’s your wedding dress. And then add on to that, if you’ve ever been with some friends to bridal boutiques, it’s maybe not the best experience. Like I’ve personally have never had a good experience going in, seeing—just did not make me feel comfortable—like cringe factor. And that’s not to say—I’m sure other people have had wonderful experiences. That’s just me. So what I actually initially did was I did research online. And I know I love everything vintage, as you’ve probably tell. Everything romantic.
So I did my research online and actually found a vampire-wife dress that I loved. And then which of course comes from the UK, which is a bit tricky, and all of that stuff. So I researched where I could buy, you know, silk, bridal silk fabric in Melbourne and D’italia came up and I went through like all their reviews. And I was like, okay, I think we’re safe. And I went in there and I showed them this picture. And they’re like, “Yeah, that’s totally do-able.”
So they helped me pick out the right kind of fabric. And then they put me in touch with a lady called Eva. And she was incredible. She didn’t rush the process. She made me feel so comfortable. And we just we made tiny adjustments along the way to the point that on the day before the wedding, I went in to go and pay the last amount for the dress. Pick it up so we could head into the city. And she’s like, “Can you just try it on one more time?” And she puts it on and she goes “Nope, I don’t like the way it’s sitting on your shoulders.” And I was like, “Oh, okay.” She said, “You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
And I was like, “But tomorrow’s the wedding. I don’t have time.” But we had gotten like so much trust between each other. I went you know what, okay, I’m not going to panic. I don’t know she pinned whatever she needed to pin. She sent me away and then I ended up having to ask my mom to go pick my wedding dress up on the morning of and didn’t get to try it on until we were like putting it on to leave the hotel and leave, you know, get photos. And so again, that’s another example of really trusting your vendors.
But I mean it was an amazing result though.
It was such a special dress. Like, I’m really glad I did it that way. It would have been very different had I gone down the….
And you paired it with such, I have to say, your red lips just made you look. Because when you had your red lips and your stunning dress and that amazing bouquet that was so rich in colour, it’s just such an amazing combination.
Felt like a million bucks. Like, we walked through the city to get to the venue and I was like showing off to the people, I’m like, “Look at me!”
As you should! Of all the days. Now Malcolm you—
I just bought a suit.
I know it’s a lot easier to be able to go into a store sometimes, isn’t it? So you wore a green suit though, didn’t you? You didn’t go for traditional black.
I think I’m pretty into tones so it was going always be something like that. Amazingly, it was the first suit I tried on. It was kind of like an emerald, forest green I guess—
Which we have that kind of theme running here.
But it kind of—that was the first time we settled on that colour as a committed thematic colour. So we used it in the invites, Molly’s boots that she was wearing under the dress, were that colour.
I had a head band.
From the Ukraine on Etsy. So yes.
But you actually had a shirt made?
Yes. Oh, that’s true. Yes, I had a shirt tailored by Sarti in South Melbourne. And it was a paisley shirt as well. So again, not traditional, and I didn’t wear a tie. So yeah, I think it was just about being comfortable. And like you said at the start, being ourselves.
And you had a small wedding party didn’t you? You had two flower girls and a bridesmaid and groomsmen each?
Yep, that was it.
How did they decide what to wear? Or how did you decide what you wanted them to wear?
The two girls, I sort of, I found what I thought would look cute online. And this was—we were in lockdown at this point. So I couldn’t take them shopping, which I really wanted to do but didn’t happen. So I found some dresses online for them. And I texted their mom and was like, “Can you please show them these and see if they’ll wear them.” I think I may have even given them a couple options. So I let them pick what they wanted. So I knew that again, they would feel comfortable. And then my bridesmaid, I took her shopping as we came out of a lockdown. And it was the same thing. I said I don’t want any expectation.
Like there’s no expectation from me or Malcolm, you pick what you like, and that you’re going to wear again. She was like, “I need more than that.” So I was like, “Okay, I want something sparkly. And you know, those greeny gold kind of tones.” And she picked a dress from Review. And she adores Review clothes. So I was like, well, that makes me feel good. I can gift you something that I know you’re going love, you know, and use again and again. So that’s for me and then for Lucas, your—
My best friend. Well, we’ve got a—we might as well tell the joke. We’ve got an ongoing – he works for the federal government. He’s a public servant, but we think he’s a spy. Might need to remove that. He wore a black tux but I think the other thing is we weren’t too concerned with matching. I think in the days and weeks leading up to it, we kind of decided why I started using the term, you know, referring to the wedding party as an Odd Squad. And, and while you know, nothing really clashed, it wasn’t, you know, controversial or contradictory or anything like that. Everyone just looked good. And everyone felt comfortable.
I loved that. And everyone looked like—it looked like it was coordinated, even though probably wasn’t, but it looked like everything went together.
That was totally the look we were going for.
The accidental on purpose? So tell me about your photographer, Georgia Verrells, because the photos were amazing. And you two had nothing but rave reviews for her. So how did you go about finding her in the first place? And how’s your experience with her?
She’s actually a referral from a friend whose sister had hired her for their wedding. Again, we don’t feel super comfortable, you know, posing for photos and all of that. So we wanted someone who’s more documentary style. And her stuff just looked incredible online. So it was kind of a no brainer to see if she was free. And if she would take us. And, you know, we told her, we said, “We are not photograph people, whatever you can do to make it so that like, it’s like you’re not even there—the better. And she ran with it. And it was just, it was—I can’t even describe.
Well, I think when she arrived on the day, she brought such a good energy. Because obviously, we didn’t get married till 6:30 in the evening, and it was a long day for us. But she arrived you know, well before that time. And, and we, I don’t know if we were fading or failing, but she just was like, and you know, we had some catering and things and she just looked around and looked at the suite we had in the hotel we were in and she said, “I knew you were my people.” And she gave us hugs.
So it was yeah, it was relaxed right from the get go. And I think probably one of the other things we should mention is it was one of her first weddings post lockdown as well, I think. And I think I’m not sure if I should say this, but she had a child recently and was returning to work. And so she arranged a second photographer for us as well on the night who was Dave Le Page who did some of the portraits that were in the State Library which we also got access to because that’s a Showtime venue as well.
And so it’s just like having the two of them who are both like consummate professionals but also like awesome people was just fantastic and you know even you know my parents come in and and they were just working like so hard throughout the night. But we didn’t even realize and they just captured it incredibly. Even like beforehand, like Molly mentioned we walked through the city to get to the venue. We stopped for a drink at this bar which now has become one of our haunts. And we—
Georgia took us there to a bar, you know, but it’s some cocktails so yeah, relax.
And she drank her negroni much faster than I drank mine. So now we talked about drinking negronis at Georgia pace. We went to the bookstore as well. And they let us in there. And we didn’t have to wear our masks. And there was a moment where we’re just looking at the shelf of fiction books. And it was Jack Maggs wasn’t it? That we both spotted at the same time. And Georgia just said—because it’s Molly’s favourite book, Georgia sort of captured that moment.
And we didn’t even notice her taking the picture, right?
Yeah. And also commented that you know, it was kind of, I don’t know, it was, it was a nice affirmation, I guess that, you know, we’d both noticed at the same time, because it was something we knew about each other from knowing each other for a long time.
And you went and had instead of what other couples do which was sunset portraits, you went and had after-dark portraits at the library, which you did mention. So did you just go to the library and—you had beautiful portraits in these amazing—
Part of the deal with Showtime, which we didn’t realize until really late in the game was that if you— well, this is for us, I don’t want to speak for every Showtime couple. Say you book your venue at the State Library, you get to have after dark photos quite easily in the LaTrobe Reading Room. But our venue was literally like a one-minute walk up the road.
So they and I had said to our planner because they provide you sort of a point of contact through the whole experience. I said how much I love libraries and books. And she’s like, “Well, we’re just going sneak you in after dark.” And she, she went and did it. And I was so happy. Like, there was no one there. There were other weddings on but they got all the people out the way. So the LaTrobe Reading Room was empty. They turned on like the mood lighting. And we just—
What a dream! It was so, so good.
Dave took those photos. And he had a thing for symmetry, which I appreciate. I like linear, symmetrical things.
Yeah. Yeah. And it was nice too at the end of the night to just break away from the big group party and just have like, half an hour to yourself. Yeah. Cool. Very different. You know, very unique.
Your dream team was like, reads like a Melbourne superstar Dream Team, because you had Nat Sproal, Georgia, you had Showtime. So tell me. Are there any vendors that you want to give a big shout out to or that you’re really impressed with? And you just think everyone should know about.
Yes. Well, obviously Botanics with Melbourne just killed it. Yes. I would love it if they deck my house out once a year.
Yeah. Can you imagine Christmas installations?
How good would that be? Suzi Zutic was our jewellery person. So she made my engagement ring and both our wedding rings. And she actually made me a pair of earrings, which I wear every day. And who else? So obviously Nat and Georgia, they were actually our first two people we locked in. That was even more important than the venue and Showtime. Just sorry, I’m trying to think of all our vendors.
I know, I’ve got to be in front of me if you need any cues. I’ve got them right in front of me.
Showtime is funny because we actually weren’t sure about going with such a big company. We were worried it would become too cookie cutter. But in the end I’m really glad we did because they were so big, they could be more accommodating than a smaller venue. So I think it’s really important to kind of think about that you don’t get told as well.
Yes, yes. You had a bag piper that led you in as well.
We did, Robert, he came. We missed him because we came right at the end. He was so sweet. He hung around to when he saw us there which was longer than what we’d actually booked him for and he played a song for me that I’d wanted to hear. And then he disappeared but from all accounts he did a very good job. So that again was another little nod to my heritage because having a bagpipe to play is like calling all your guests to the gathering?
Yeah, I love that. And your cake. I’m going to throw in your cake because your cake was amazing.
Torte by Mirjana, she did such a good job. Again, she was another one that we said, we left entirely in her hands. We said emerald greens were kind of our colour, florals, and we just said go for it. These are the flavours we like. And she did such a good job.
So what flavour was it? Tell me.
Oh, God, though, we haven’t kept any of it. So that’s another thing. There was an elderflower one – I think that was a—
Caramel. I can’t remember.
This is not good. It was a while ago.
I always ask cake flavours at lunchtime. So as a couple, let’s talk beyond the details. Did you experience any obstacles in planning your day? Is there anything that you know now that you wish you knew or you wish you could pass on to other couples who are planning their day?
For us, we’re just lucky in the sense that we got engaged before COVID. So it was like in the month or two before COVID. And we planned for two, we were planning for two year engagement anyway. And we had that time to plan. And then obviously everything opened up just in time for us to get married. And also have our honeymoon.
I was going say you’re very lucky to—
Have the experience that a lot of people had during that time.
But that was one of the obstacles, too, in a way because we had a lot of friends and family kind of applying the pressure to go I think you should postpone. And yeah, but then we also had other people who, you know, nurses or sort of more in the medical field going, the numbers are looking good. Like, hang on. So that was—
Yeah, we did have a COVID I guess clause in our any of our contracts. So because it was probably a lot of them would sign before the pandemic and all the lockdowns? Yeah, I mean, there was a, you know, a substantial financial commitment that if we hadn’t had to cancel due to COVID, we wouldn’t have been out of pocket. But if we cancelled ourselves, then we would have lost all our deposits and things. So yeah, I think that’s not an uncommon experience that a lot of people could relate to during that time. But that didn’t really answer the question. You asked about what we know now that we didn’t know when we started.
It’s a double pronged question. So you did it the first time.
I think, I think it’s more also when we were talking about the descriptors like the dark mo-fo, the quirky, unique, that sort of thing that we applied retrospectively, I think that we were probably guided by what if we had to describe them, we would describe that them retrospectively that way, but like when we were doing it at the time, that was probably what was guiding us as well, we just didn’t realize it. And I think a lot of the time when we were confronted with, you know, the choice between doing something traditionally, or doing something a bit different. We just said to each other, why can’t we do it differently? And neither of us had any problem with with doing it in an unconventional way, I guess.
And I think by doing that and being I think, maybe, maybe this is a better answer. Maybe we talk to each other all the time, and are really open about it. And so I think where I’ve seen couples fall down a bit and get stressed is like they weren’t communicating properly with each other. So at any point, where we’re asking the question, why can’t we do it differently? It’s not like it was a surprise to either of us.
So my, I guess my advice is like, it sounds really cheesy, but just talk about it. Because you might think you’re both on the same page but maybe you’re not, you know? And then that makes it – it just made it such a pleasant experience for us. I think like there were no major issues along the way other than, you know, the world stopping for two years.
Apart from that, did you find you had any external pressures of family or friends perhaps that was saying, “Why aren’t you doing this? Or are you really doing it that way?” Did you find any you had any of that you had to contest with?
We kept a lot of it under wraps.
Yeah, good advice really. Just keep it—don’t tell anyone and then no one will tell you.
We also were lucky in that we sort of funded it ourselves. So we didn’t have to maybe give in to requests for certain things if someone was giving us money, which I think you will struggle with. Yes. So keeping it a secret….
I think also we did a lot of the planning ourselves just by necessity because of COVID. And we did DIY a lot of it. So it was like close to our chest. And so when we told people you know, we’re getting married, or mom and dad, a lot of people have a sort of funny, strange reaction to that, like, Oh, that’s a bit weird. And we’re okay with that. Because we’re a bit weird. But even like, I don’t think your mum saw the menu until a day or two beforehand, or like the week of the ceremony, and then she kind of understood when she saw it, how impressive and imposing and how much feeling was sort of in it, and how, and then seeing it on the day as well, all dressed up. Yeah, it made sense to them, once we sort of played all our cards.
But it’s hard, isn’t it? Having confidence in yourself and your decisions when they are different? Because you’ve got it, you’ve got to really know that no, I have to trust that this is going to work. And it’s reflective of me, etc. Despite what everyone else is saying.
And I think we this comes into, like, no compromises thing. We decided, you know, okay, we’re not compromising – everything involved on the day or the lead up to. It’s exactly what we want. You know what? We’re going to be happy with it. And once we kind of got over that, you know, like being okay, with kind of being selfish, it became a lot easier to kind of ignore the external pressure of conforming.
Did you look at all the traditions like bouquet toss and just run through them? Or was that a more of a natural process for you when it came to choosing your elements?
Yeah. I mean, we chose instead of having our fathers speak, we had both of our mothers speak. Yeah. That was, that wasn’t political or anything. It was just something we were. But like I said before, when we said why not? And we said we should.
Yeah. So yeah, suppose we looked at, I suppose all the traditional things that you might have in a wedding. And then we pick the ones we wanted? And then we thought about, how do we make them ours? And we didn’t get too stressed about it.
That’s golden advice. I love that. It was such a reflective day of you both but it still had all the wedding ticks and all that kind of stuff. So I think it was it, you pulled it off. So do you have any last words of advice for couples planning their day in the midst of it all? And you said to communicate which was a really good one.
I think we said something to the effect of trusting your vendors, which obviously we did. And the payoff was huge for us. So I think—
I think have confidence in what you want. And then you can kind of have that same confidence in your vendors. Research them and don’t necessarily settle for the first one you find. Things are really important.
I think that’s really good advice. So what is next for you both now that Melbourne is out of lockdown? Touch wood? Touch all the woods and we’re coming out of winter you know what’s life hold for you?
I think probably a nice way to end would be my wedding band is like I’m sorry, I’m getting emotional again. Molly got an inscription on it that says “it’s always an adventure”.
Well that’s the most beautiful way to end. Do you have anything to add to that really like perfect ending?
Well, it literally is always an adventure whatever we do big or small.
Lots more adventures.
Yeah. That’s it. Lots more.
I love that. Thank you so much, both of you for joining us and for sharing ever all the beautiful details of your day and congratulations.
Thanks for having us.
It was an absolute pleasure.
Now talk about a feel-good wedding story, right? You can find more of Molly and Malcolm’s wedding over on our show notes at polkadotwedding.com/podcast. You can also find it a weddingpodcast.com.au. Over there, we have a full written transcript of today’s episode, all the show notes and all the links included.
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