Traditions have a way of weaving meaning into life’s biggest celebrations, and weddings are no exception. But tradition doesn’t have to feel old-fashioned or prescriptive. It can be playful, deeply personal, and full of heart. In this piece for our Traditions Issue, celebrant Kimberley Duband of Married by Kimberley and Only Love shares seven beautiful (and sometimes delightfully unexpected) Jewish wedding rituals that couples can embrace, remix, and make their own. Whether you’re Jewish, “Jew-ish,” or simply drawn to the richness of ritual, this guide invites you to create a ceremony that feels connected, meaningful, and uniquely yours.

Photography: Jessica Turich | Venue: Gabbinbar Homestead | Chuppah: Emunah Events | Dress: Luci Di Bella Bridal Design 

When you think of rituals, you might visualise a wise religious leader, a sage-wielding moon worshipper or Aunt Miriam and her legendary pickled herring on Yom Kippur, but not every ritual requires a sermon, a smudge stick, or a shmear. Rituals are for anyone who’s ever raised a glass, played a favourite song, or kissed someone when their cake knife came out dirty (because let’s face it, no one should be alone with their feelings and a whole dessert on their birthday)!

Marriage is a ritual as old as love itself. Whether you’re eloping under a gumtree at sunset or walking down the aisle past a sea of second cousins you’re pretty sure your mum invited, this is a moment that will stay with you forever. So, put your Pinterest board aside, and delve into crafting a ceremony that feels uniquely yours. One that honours where you’ve come from and celebrates where you’re going, because this is what will transform a beautiful day (and a big party) into something meaningful and truly unforgettable.

Photography: Heirlooms By Glushah | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Flora By T | Rings: Kim Victoria| Dress: Zimmerman | Suit: Ted Baker

Now what if I told you that you’re already practicing rituals every day! It’s in the way you make your morning coffee (ritual). That yearly camping trip with friends (ritual). It is also your mum insisting on sending you home with leftovers after Friday night dinner (ritual, also adorable). These moments whisper ‘this matters’. Which means, bringing a little tradition into your ceremony isn’t so unfamiliar after all. It’s just about choosing the ones that feel right for you and having someone with a little know-how guide you through the process. You don’t have to be religious, or have to know all the words. If it speaks to you, it’s yours. If it means something, it matters.

So, who is the voice behind this love letter to ritual? Well, that’d be me, Kimberley Duband, a celebrant with an insatiable appetite for culture and a love of ancient wisdom. I’m known for my resemblance to the Marvellous Mrs. Maisel, turning the random contents of my fridge into gourmet dinners, and the dramatic re-telling of my daily mishaps over my family WhatsApp. My worldly travels have led me far and wide, including remarkable places where I’ve had the privilege to sit with elders from different cultures. What they all have in common is their grounded mystical sense of belonging. Their stories always featuring ritual, not as performance, but as a presence. In the way they mark time, gather people, honour change, and bring profound meaning to life’s important moments.

Photography: Madeline Druce | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Alice And Co | Katubah: Etsy | Dress: Michelle DeLacy 

These days, I have the honour of sitting with couples and listening to their stories (over brekky, a glass of wine, or a dodgy Zoom line). Together, we gather the best bits of their lives: the quirks, the milestones, and the quiet moments that make up their love story. We uncover the sweet spot between treasured memories and modern love, then we shape it all into a one-of-a-kind ceremony that reflects who they are. Because even in our scroll-fast, on-demand lives, our hearts are still longing for the same things; love, connection, and belonging. That’s the chewy caramel centre of life and the key to it all.

Photography: Madeline Druce | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Alice And Co | Katubah: Etsy | Dress: Michelle DeLacy 

If you’re thinking about including some Jewish rituals in your ceremony, go for it. Not because you have to, but because you get to.  You’re invited to tap into a treasure trove of 5,785 years of culture (and humour). These traditions have been lovingly adapted and passed down from generation to generation, and now it’s your turn. If you and your partner have different backgrounds, that’s even more exciting because you get to create a ceremony that is a cultural fusion and reflects how incredibly unique your relationship is. And the best part is that Jewish traditions can complement your celebration regardless of how you were raised or what you believe. Because ultimately, they’re not about rules, but about connection.

Photography: Jessica Turich | Venue: Gabbinbar Homestead | Chuppah: Emunah Events | Dress: Luci Di Bella Bridal Design 

So whether you’re Jewish, Jew-ish, or Someone who tried challah and chicken soup with kneidlach and never looked back, here are seven of my favourite Jewish wedding rituals to weave into your modern-day ceremony.

Photography: Madeline Druce | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Alice And Co | Katubah: Etsy | Dress: Michelle DeLacy 

SEVEN RITUALS

Mikveh – A Ritual of Renewal and Connection

Traditionally a sacred immersion in water accompanied by a blessing, this ancient ritual is making a beautiful comeback. And it doesn’t need to take place in a traditional Mikveh! It can unfold in any natural body of water like a serene beach, a tranquil river, or hot spring. Alone or alongside your partner, the Mikveh is a chance to step into your new chapter with clarity and intention. Find a setting that speaks to your soul and let the natural world hold space for your transformation.

Photography: Madeline Druce | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Alice And Co | Katubah: Etsy | Dress: Michelle DeLacy 

Bedeken – The Original “First Look”

This is your golden moment to truly see each other, not just in appearance, but in essence. It’s a quiet pause before the ceremony and a private moment with the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with. You’re essentially there to say: “I see you, and I choose you.” After this, the celebrations will begin, and you’ll be surrounded by the people you love where you can all share the joy together.

Ketubah – A little bit legal and a little bit lavish

In Australia, the legal marriage contract is pretty dry. It is names, signatures and dates – It has the emotional resonance of your tax return, and not a whisper of romance! But the Ketubah is a different story.  What was once a traditional contract outlining marital obligations (like “I promise to provide you with goats”), has evolved into a beautifully personalised document that reflects your shared values and intentions. And the best part – It’s not just meaningful, but it’s also a piece of art you can hang in your home as a daily reminder of the love story you’re still creating.

Photography: Heirlooms By Glushah | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Flora By T | Rings: Kim Victoria| Dress: Zimmerman | Suit: Ted Baker

Processional – That’s what I call an Entrance.

This is one of the most captivating moments in Jewish tradition. You sashay in flanked by the people who raised you, shaped you, and lovingly passed down both wisdom and neuroses to you. Now, with all of that in tow – the laughter, the lessons, the uniquely-functional family – you walk toward a future where someone has chosen you, exactly as you are: messy, magnificent, and completely ready for love. And when the two of you meet, mishpacha by your side, it represents the creation of a new family.

Photography: Jessica Turich | Venue: Gabbinbar Homestead | Chuppah: Emunah Events | Dress: Luci Di Bella Bridal Design 

Chuppah – Your Canopy of Love

Aside from being a stroke of genius for offering practical shelter from the elements (especially for a Melbourne wedding), the chuppah is a canopy symbolising the home you’re building together. It is open, welcoming, and built on connection. And according to tradition, anyone who stands beneath it receives a little extra good luck. So don’t be surprised if your besties squeeze in at the end of your ceremony to soak up a bit of extra good fortune!

Kiddush – A Toast to Joy

From the challah to the kids, snagging the last carpark at Pilates, or when Dad answers an emergency call at 2am like he’s already on his way. Jews bless everything! So when life hands you your soulmate, the blessing required is something far more extraordinary. So raise a glass, bless the hell out of the two of you, and smile until your cheeks hurt. This is where your forever begins.

Photography: Jessica Turich | Venue: Gabbinbar Homestead | Chuppah: Emunah Events | Dress: Luci Di Bella Bridal Design 

Ring Ring – A Hotline to your Heart

Blink and you’ll miss this tiny but deeply romantic ritual, and it is truly one of my favourites! Jewish mystics believed the right index finger connects directly to the heart. So, placing the ring there first, declaring one’s love and then moving it to the left ring finger becomes an intimate, intentional, and quietly profound moment.

You don’t have to include every ritual, just the ones that feel right in your kishkes. That’s the magic of Jewish tradition. Chose what speaks to your heart and you can’t go wrong! So go wild. Remix Tradition. Add a killer playlist, a show-stopping kiss, and a side of pickles (because you shouldn’t do anything this important on an empty stomach).

I hope you have a blast planning your ceremony, making some of these rituals your own, and before you walk down that aisle, please remember to wee! (Not a ritual. Just practical. Trust me)!

Mazel Tov.

Photography: Jessica Turich | Venue: Gabbinbar Homestead | Chuppah: Emunah Events | Dress: Luci Di Bella Bridal Design 

GLOSSARY

Aunt Miriam’s pickled herring – A cheeky reference to traditional Ashkenazi (European) Jewish food, often making a cameo appearance at holiday family feasts. Equal parts cultural staple and acquired taste, it’s not essential to the faith but deeply ingrained in many family memories (It’s vinegary, fishy, and wildly divisive).

Smudge stick – A bundle of dried herbs (usually sage) used in spiritual cleansing rituals in various cultures. Mentioned here playfully as a contrast to Jewish customs.

Shmear (shmeer) – Yiddish for “spread,” most commonly referring to cream cheese on a bagel. Used here as part of a trio of stereotypes.

Shabbat (shuh-BAHT) – The Jewish Sabbath, from Friday evening to Saturday evening, marked by rest, reflection, and (usually) an abundance of delicious food and family time.

Mikveh (MICK-vuh) – A ritual bath used for spiritual renewal. Traditionally filled with “living water” (from a natural source like rain or a spring), but often adapted today in oceans, rivers, or hot springs.

Bedeken (beh-DEK-en) – A traditional pre-wedding ceremony where one partner (historically the groom) veils the other (traditionally the bride), symbolising inner connection and conscious choice. Legend has it, this ritual began after Jacob (that guy in the bible) accidentally married the wrong sister (Genesis 29:22–25).

Simcha (SIM-khuh)– A joyous occasion or celebration. Usually involving plenty of food, chairs being shuffled, generous hugs, and that one overly invested relative asking too many questions (all with love, of course!)

Ketubah (keh-TOO-buh) – A Jewish marriage contract.

Chuppah (KHUH-pah) – A wedding canopy symbolising the home that the couple will build together. It has a roof (shelter) but no walls (openness), representing hospitality, love, and connection.

Mishpacha (mish-PAH-khuh) – Hebrew for “family,” encompassing not just relatives but anyone you consider part of your close-knit crew. Often comes with hugs and unsolicited opinions.

Kiddush (KID-ush) – A blessing recited over wine to sanctify a moment. In weddings, it’s used to celebrate joy, connection, and the beginning of a new chapter.

Challah (KHAH-luh) – A sweet, soft, braided bread traditionally eaten on Shabbat (see above) and Jewish holidays. Often lovingly baked, dangerously good with toppings, and almost always over-eaten.

Kneidlach (K’NAY-dlach, also known as kneidel soup) – Fluffy matzah meal dumplings floating in chicken soup like little life rafts for the soul. A Passover staple, though most Jewish grandmothers will tell you they’re medicinal year-round. Warning: every family insists theirs are the “right” texture — from sink-like stones to cloud-like puffs — and will happily debate the matter until dessert.

Kishkes (KISH-kiss) – Yiddish for “guts”. Figuratively, it refers to your deep-down instincts or feelings. If something stirs your kishkes, it hits you where it matters.

Mazel Tov (MAH-zl TOV) – Hebrew for “Congratulations” or “Good luck.” Shouted with gusto at weddings, engagements, or when someone lands a promotion, completes a long-overdue domestic chore or finds a rental with a dishwasher and natural light.

Photography: Madeline Druce | Venue: The Riverstone Estate | Florist: Alice And Co | Katubah: Etsy | Dress: Michelle DeLacy 

About the author: Kimberley Duband is a Melbourne based celebrant and founder of Married by Kimberley and Only Love, creating weddings Australia-wide that are unique and unforgettable. Known for her warm presence, sharp wit, and way with words, she crafts ceremonies that leave guests laughing, crying, and raving about it long after the day. From surprise elopements and intimate celebrity weddings to glorious Jewish and dual-faith celebrations that blend cultures and rituals. By design, she takes on only a select number of weddings each year, making her one of the most sought-after celebrants for couples who want something unforgettable.