Image by Ava Me Photography via Ainslea & Tim’s Rain-Filled Country Garden Wedding

Are you struggling to find the perfect wedding vows? You try and try to find vows that relate to you and your future spouse. But they end up sounding traditional, maybe fake, a little fluffy. You realize you’ve heard them all before. This is a common problem for many planning their vows. What happens when the wedding vows simply don’t fit?

The answer to this question is to personalize your wedding vows. Use this article to help you walk through the process of personalizing your vows. You may be surprised as to just how simple it can be.

A quick reminder: be sure to check with your officiant for any rules there may be about wedding vows. It’s better to be safe than sorry!

Image Gez Xavier Mansfield Photography via Lauren & Michael’s Modern Winery Wedding At Ironbark Hill Vineyard

Start With A Template

Using a template will provide a place for you to start and give direction through the entire process. Using a template does seem counterproductive for writing UNIQUE vows at first. However, just because you want personal vows doesn’t mean you can’t start with a template. It will help you avoid writer’s block and give you a jump start. Keep in mind that a template doesn’t necessarily mean pre-written vows.

Ideas To Expand On

In this section, we have listed some thought-provoking examples to help you along the way. Answering some of these questions may actually fast track your writing process.

Express Your Feelings

It’s important to let your significant other know how you feel when writing vows. Let your partner know why you’re marrying him/her with some of these questions:

  • How does your significant other make you feel?
  • Does he or she bring out the best in you?
  • Do they build you up, cherish you, are they your hero?
  • Do you still get butterflies in your stomach every time you look into their eyes?

Take time to think through some of these questions. Pick one or more and be descriptive as you write out your vows.

Revisit Your First Encounter

Revisiting your first encounter will add uniqueness to your vows. Describe where you met your love with some of these questions:

  • Did he or she catch your eye?
  • Was it love at first sight?
  • Were you introduced by friends?
  • How did you feel at that moment?

Expand On Your Engagement

Go back to the time of engagement.

This is a very important part of your relationship and you should include it in your vows!

Answer some of these questions for adding an engagement story to your vows:

  • What drew you to your soon to be spouse?
  • Did he or she complement your talents and personality?
  • What does your fiancé/e possess that sets them apart from all the rest?

You obviously saw this in him or her, so expound up it. Add phrases like, “I knew you were right for me when I saw how you loved……”.

Share A Memory

Memories are built over time. Even though you’re yet to be married you have already begun making memories. Share one or two special memories the two of you have made. Was there a special trip you went on or maybe an event that strengthened your relationship? Let them know you value those memories and you cannot wait to make more.

Image by Lisa Hatz via Annabel & Tom’s Outback Elegance Wedding


Chances are you have some aspirations in the future. Think through your plans and the following questions to add in where you want to be with your spouse in the future:

  • Where do you want to be in 10 years?
  • What do you want the future to hold? Love, happiness, good health, and wealth are things every couple wants. Express what you dream of.
  • Do you want pets, children, a home of your own?

Think through how you vision your future together and then express it in your vows. You could say, “I have dreamed of someone like you for years. I can’t wait to see where life has us fifty years from now”.


Your marriage will be founded on core principles, Be it trust, love, hope, or something else. Describe how this is foundational for your marriage by answering these questions:

  • What will your marriage be founded on?
  • How is it a driving force that brings the two of you together?
  • How does it guide you both in the right direction?
  • How will this guide you two as you navigate through life as a married couple?

Here is an example, “With our marriage being founded on trust, I want you to know that you can trust me to love, protect, and cherish you always”.

Lauren Anne Photography via  Lauren & Jesse’s Rustic Country Wedding At Stanley Park


Every relationship experiences obstacles. And it’s how we overcome those obstacles that make this so special. In your vows, you may want to share about how the two of you have overcome an obstacle together. Perhaps, one of you were sick and the other played a major role in helping. You can also change the wording and talk about your plan for facing future obstacles together.

Ready Set Go

Of course, you don’t have to use all of these examples when writing your vows. Some ideas that work well for others may not be what you wish to include. This article is created to stimulate your ideas and really get the wedding vow writing juices flowing. Sit down with the soon to be Mr. or Mrs. and take some time to talk about this.

After all, you are pledging these vows to one another. Maybe you even want to write them together.

Maybe you want to write them separately and surprise one another on your special day. Whatever you choose, remember that it can be as unique or traditional as you wish. You will be surprised at how easy a template makes wedding vow writing!

Ms Zebra Says: There truly is nothing better than listening to couples who have written their own vows. Even if it’s only a few lines, the thought and care that goes into it helps the whole wedding share in the love the couple has for one another! Great advice from the helping hands at Bride Envy for their tips!

About the author: Bride Envy specialises in helping couples have stress-free weddings. Visit for more actionable guides that will help you have an amazing wedding.

Reference: You can find the Bride Envy Wedding Vows template available here to download.