Jenna and James’ Coral Orange Wedding Image by Welsch Photography
Your friends are all around you. The people you hold dearest have cameras ready to capture lasting memories. You step out under a mirror ball, ready to leap into the arms of the person you’ve only just said ‘I do’ to; ready to dance for the first time as a married couple.
The lights fade. The music starts.
“Can’t find a better man…”
How sweet. But hang on, is it?
No.
Your first dance is a song about a woman who settles for a man she doesn’t love because she thinks she can’t do any better. The composer, Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder dedicated it to the ‘bastard who married my mother’.
Hopefully, people will do what you did and just focus on the title, and make the best of the chorus, but there’s an easy way to make sure that you don’t pick an inappropriate song for the wedding waltz on your big day.
Read along with the lyrics.
You love the song “In The Air Tonight”, and you’ve planned an awesome (and sure to go viral) dance move with your other half to the huge Phil Collins drum solo, but did you know it’s a missive from Collins, reeling during his divorce? Urban legend even has it sung from the perspective of someone witnessing a murder, too far away to help.
Either way, it’s a bummer, and you’d be surprised how often we get asked to perform it for the wedding waltz!
When songs like “In The Air Tonight” come up in initial conversations with clients, I always ask them to take the time to consider the story at large in their chosen songs, making clear that we’ll, of course, play whatever they’d like, but that they should know what they’re putting out there on the often most filmed part of their happy occasion.
Daddy-Daughter dance need a tune? Steer clear of the beautiful “Father and Son” by Cat Stevens, a sad exchange in which a father can’t understand his son’s desire to move on from his childhood, and the son’s inability to properly voice his reasons for wanting to seek his own destiny. It’s a stunning song, but for the Daddy-Daughter dance it might not send the message you’re hoping for!
Wanting to rock the house for the big introduction of the wedding party? “Blurred Lines” has a funky beat, but have you read the lyrics? Widely panned as a misogynist, trivialising sexuality, and possibly even (some say) an ode to rape culture, playing on themes like ‘you know you want it’ and famous for its nudie video; it certainly puts thought into people’s heads when the bridesmaids boogie down the catwalk to their table, but is it the thought you’d like?
So, as your friendly wedding singer, I beg of you – please take the time to really scour the lyrics of the songs you’re considering for your waltz. Listen past the title, move on from the chorus and read along as you go, ideally more than once.
TRIO Wedding Band Image by Danko Photography
This way you won’t miss the lyrics in Mumford & Sons’ beautiful “I Will Wait” that tell you about the break up happening during the song; you won’t gloss over ‘(in the arms of the) Angel’ and slow-dance to a tune about a heroin overdose; no one will have to watch your Dirty Dancing leap, wondering what on earth Sting’s stalk-fest “Every Breath You Take” has to do with it.
Your wedding is, most importantly, a celebration of the love you and your partner share, and your commitment to each other. The song with which you choose to commemorate your union will play in people’s heads for years when reminisce about it, so take the time to make sure it’s as special as you think it is.
Pick a song that reflects you as a couple, one that your audience ‘gets’ the minute they hear it.
‘Oh yeah, this is so their song.’
Not
‘Oh man, this song is a weird choice, but I guess Weird Al’s version* is better than Madonna’s.’
*Note: we haven’t been asked to do ‘Like A Surgeon’ yet.
Ms Gingham says: Truer words were never spoken.
About Andy: Andy Zito is a professional musician and content producer, making a good chunk of his living working as a wedding singer with his group TRIO, now one of Melbourne’s most popular acoustic wedding acts. You can check TRIO out at and get in touch with Andy through his audiovisual and communications studio, Front Room Studios.
We had some some great choices for our songs. Bridal party entered to Kylie’s ‘on a night like this’, we entered to Robbie’s ‘let me entertain you’, first dance was Queen’s ‘you’re my best friend, father-daughter to GnR’s ‘sweet child of mine’, cake cutting was The Beatles ‘when I’m 64’, and our leaving song was to Bad Company’s ‘feel like making love’. Guests and DJ loved them all!
Wait… do people really use “Better Man” as their wedding song? Some of the others are quite difficult to discern their meanings without googling the writer’s intent, but “Better Man”‘s lyrics make its meaning extremely obvious!