The Guest and Worst Of Me

by | Wedding Planning Wisdom, Wisdom



Image courtesy of Fi Fy Fo Fum Stationery.

Ok, so we’re in the middle of trying to work out our guest list at the moment (and I can already feel all the married people cringe) and yes, it is difficult. Both my fiancé and I have big families, lots of cousins, cousin’s husbands and wives, 2nd cousins … catch my drift?

Having spoken to varying couples about their experiences I’ve noticed that everyone has a different rule when it comes to making and culling their guest list. You can take the logical option of having an ‘A List’ and a ‘B List’, you can go with a ‘no partners’ or ‘No under 18’s’ policy to cut out any unwanted family extras (and keep you out of trouble with underage drinking) or you could keep it fun and play a little game of guest list roulette. It seems to me that whatever rules you do come up with you end up making exceptions to anyway because, let’s face it, we all have that one family member or friend that is going to cause more drama than a $140 dinner is worth if they don’t make the cut.

Whatever size the guest list is, here are a few thoughts I hope will help someone out with their planning:

It’s YOUR wedding.
If possible, try not to feel obliged to invite anyone just “because”. The day is about celebrating your love and commitment, so don’t bother with people who aren’t there to celebrate and support YOU.

Choose based on the future, not the past.
Forget about that friend you knew in primary school but haven’t seen in fifteen years! You haven’t missed them, or even really thought about them that often, so chances are you won’t miss them on the day. Choose your guests based on who you can see being a part of your lives together in the next ten to fifteen years.

Find ways to keep it personal.
If you do end up with a longer guest list than you intended don’t worry; there are plenty of ways for you to keep it intimate and personal as a couple. Even the smallest things from lighting to how far you spread out chairs and tables all contribute to how intimate the day feels.

Work it out together.
Guest lists have a reputation for bringing out the worst in a couple. Make sure that you are working together and not against each other when you’re putting your guest list together. If you can’t agree, talk it out until you come to a conclusion … and if that still seems unlikely, try cracking open a couple bottles of red and tackling it again another day … There’s nothing like a hangover to bring out your more brutal side!

So, what’s the moral of the story?
Well, ultimately we all have to make our own rules when it comes to the guest list, and planning a wedding in general. Just remember that at the end of the day, once the ring is on that finger and you’ve burnt a hole in your pocket so deep you can see your underwear, you will want to look back and know that you shared the experience with the people who matter the most to you and your partner.

Oh, and there’s no problem a couple bottles of red can’t fix!


Ms Gingham says: Groomzilla returns with a very insightful piece of advice. Make it about you and the people you actually want to be there. Don’t try to make everyone happy because you can’t!

Groomzilla describes himself as: Stylist, Meticulous planner and creative eye.

Read about Groomzilla’s engagement party here.

  • Rose says:
    June 20, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    Great post. My Fiance and I are having trouble with our parents ‘opionions’ on who we should invite to our engagement party and wedding. We have made a list of just 50 close friends and only family who we see often. One set of parents want to invite their friends the other set of parents wants us to let anyone who hasnt got a partner bring a friend. We are ignoring both of them and going to stick to our original list, but its certainly not easy, very frustrating and upsetting for us both.


  • Friday Roundup | Polka Dot Bride says:
    June 24, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    […] progress on things that have been bugging me and progress always makes the weeks feel fantastic!On Polka Dot Groom our fabulous groom to be Julian shares his top guest list tips!Take a peek at the Fleur Wood Bridesmaids Collection launch in Sydney held last month on Polka Dot […]

  • Ms Stripey says:
    June 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Rose, I feel for you – it is so difficult trying to please everyone. My suggestion is to read Mother Polka’s Musings – specifically the one called ‘Being Yourself’- you may find something there that resonates with you.

  • The Invitation | Polka Dot Bride says:
    August 15, 2011 at 10:04 am

    […] describes himself as: Stylist, Meticulous planner and creative eye.Read more from Julian here.Want more? Check out these posts from the archivesThe Guest and Worst Of MeTags:Groom, Word […]



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