I simply love every wedding I do. I love the sheer joy of giving every couple the best possible beginning to their married life. I love calming a nervous groom, getting that teary feeling when my beautiful brides arrive, and knowing that no matter what happens over the next half hour, I will make them really, really happy.

Most of the time, everything goes off without a hitch. Perfect. And sometimes, there’s an unexpected moment that makes everyone laugh. It’s never a disaster …

People ask me all the time about the funny things that happen at my weddings.  I thought I’d share a few of my favourite funnies.

Imagine my surprise when a couple forgot to mention that their dog was now their ringbearer! First, I asked the Best Man for the rings, and that was when I was told about the dog. So I called her. She came  –  with only one of the rings tied to her collar! Five minutes of 120 guests checking all over the ground for the rings, laughing the whole time and the ring was found!

Or the time that the bride came down the aisle, looked at her groom and asked him if he had the rings. He didn’t. So back down the aisle she ran, full skirt billowing and made her entrance a second time, music and all, while her groom stared open mouthed. My first runaway bride!

There was the time that a 4 year old flower-girl interrupted me, five minutes into the ceremony, by pulling on my skirt and asking why was I talking into “that thing”? Or the 2 year old who insisted on “up,up,up” while his mum and dad were trying desperately to exchange their rings, and another toddler who did figure of 8’s through his father’s legs as he tried to make his vows.

And the time that it was so incredibly windy that all we could hear while we did the vows, was the crash of glass vases smashing, over and over, whilst we had hair and papers flapping everywhere. Smash … giggle. Crash … laugh … until there were none left.

There have been fathers of the bride that forgot their daughters were waiting to be walked down the aisle. Many, many a time I have marched a dad out of his seat, and back down the aisle to do his duty …

So many rings that wouldn’t slide onto fingers; (yes, I tell every single couple to put Vaseline on the inside, but sometimes they just don’t listen). Rings that have jumped out of boxes, in that slow motion way things happen, when they really, really shouldn’t, as Best Men fumbled. Not to mention many that ended up on the wrong finger instead. Spaghetti straps that have pinged and snapped mid ceremony, and the odd wardrobe malfunction where a strapless gown shifted perilously south!

Ferry foghorns that went off the moment we started the vows. Trains rattling overhead on the Harbour Bridge. Gangs of cockatoos stripping gum trees of their leaves and raining the leftover twigs down over guests. A stryaing dog that joined the wedding party happily ignoring its owner calling its name over and over from a few houses down …

And a Jewish rabbi who began to sing at the wedding he was presiding over, nearby – at exactly the same moment I opened my mouth to welcome everyone. (That was hilarious! The bride was beside herself, giggling – gorgeous girl).

So what is the moral to all these tales? Is it that bad luck follows me everywhere? Never get married outside? Not at all, it’s much simpler than that.

Not one of these mishaps spoilt any of these couple’s weddings. Not one hissy fit. Not one bridezilla moment or tantrum thrown amongst them all. Lots of happy, laughing, smiling guests. Lots of fabulous, unexpected memories to laugh about for years to come

Your wedding day is a celebration of everything that you love about each other. It is a big day, a beautiful day and you should make the decision to enjoy it. Smile, giggle, laugh, cry happy tears and love every single moment … after all there’s no instant replay.

Photography by Scott Thomas 0414 235 520


Ms Gingham says: “Are you thinking what I’m thinking? That if only Prince Wills had Robyn as his marriage celebrant … that ring would have slid over Katie’s finger without a hitch? Such a small detail … Thanks so much to Robyn Pattison Civil Marriage Celebrant for a very wise and entertaining post!”

Robyn says: I am quite possibly the happiest marriage celebrant in Sydney! Weddings are my thing! Nothing makes me happier than a really happy couple – every time.

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