Originally posted on Polka Dot Bride 2nd September 2008

Lets kick off this month with a fantastic guest post from Maria over at the great wedding blog Ritzy Bee. Maria has over 9 years experience in wedding planning so she definitely knows her stuff! And today she has compiled The Groom’s Guide just for you Polka Dot Groom Readers!


{photo credits: Jose Villa}

Though the typical groom is along for the wedding planning ride, there are those out there who are increasingly becoming more involved in planning the wedding.

In the past the wedding proposal might have seemed like the guy’s big role in the wedding planning process but these days, with couples are typically getting married later in life, many couples have established careers and income. The traditional standards of who-pays-what still exist, however many couples end up taking on a significant portion of wedding costs. Where in the past, the bride and bride’s parents were making many of the financial decisions, couples today are often splitting wedding costs evenly and often footing more than 50% of the bill. The groom is likely to be more involved in the planning details with his wallet in the game.

When it comes to helping out…here are seven etiquette tips on what a groom can do to help alleviate the wedding planning stress with the future Mrs.


{Photo credits: Lilah Paper}

  1. Ask your attendants
  • What? Your attendants will be serving as ushers on the wedding day and will possibly be giving a toast or two so choose wisely!
  • When? It’s a good idea to decide and ask attendants and your best man soon after becoming engaged.
  • How many? It’s up to you and your fiancée…it will depend on the formality and size of your wedding and on what the two of you feel is the right size.
  • What else? Don’t forget you will need to be thinking about gifts for your guys as a {thank you}. Whether it’s a round of golf, cuff links or tickets to a sporting event…try to buy based on their personalities and likes {and something they would actually use}.

2. Help with the rehearsal dinner. If you or your parents are taking the lead with paying, be sure to serve as the liaison between your future wife and her future in-laws. Some parents don’t mind be hands-off during the planning of the dinner but some {mothers especially} want the say with decision making. Your bride-to-be will appreciate you voicing opinions and putting your foot down on issues to your parents if needed. Since wedding planning time can be a pretty high stress time, be sure to be a fair referee for both sides!

3.The guest list. You will be responsible for your side of the list…so be sure to work with your fiancée and family on who you want to make the “A” list!


{photo credits; Martha Stewart Weddings}

4.Your attire. You will need to select and communicate to groomsmen what they need to wear, buy or rent! Each groomsmen is responsible for paying for their own garb, unless you decide to cover these expenses. Be sure to decide at least 5 – 6 months out so you have plenty of time to make sure everyone will be in uniform. Consider things like non-traditional attire in the summer months (linen suits, etc) or adding something fun to the mix like colorful socks, etc.

5.Wedding bands. Though choosing the wedding bands should be something you do together, traditionally the groom will pay for these.

6.Paperwork. You are responsible for finding out what marriage-license requirements are and how far in advance you must have paperwork in place.

7.Wedding night & the honeymoon. Typically the groom would be in charge of planning the honeymoon, though you most definitely want to be sure you are making decisions together as a couple! Unless of course you want to surprise her with an amazing getaway…just be sure to keep a close friend or sister involved so they can assist her with what type of packing she might need to do for the location (she won’t want a bikini on a trip to visit the glaciers!)


{photo credits: Aaron Delesie}

Be sure to check out Ritzy Bee for more inspiration and to thank Maria for her great post!