ABC Of Weddings: U Is For Ushers

by | ABC Of Weddings, Bride



Ushers ushering the wedding guests may be unassuming undergraduates who are sometimes undisciplined!



Photo by Vincent Lai

Often couples want to involve their nearest and dearest on their wedding day and thereby acknowledge them. There are many roles within a wedding and many tasks that can go along with those roles. The tasks or duties within that role are up to you and that person! This is simply a guide.

Maid of Honour

Otherwise known as chief or head bridesmaid (and although it’s said a married Maid of Honour becomes a ‘Matron’, I like ‘Chief’ much better!)

  • Planning the bachelorette party or kitchen tea
  • Assisting the bride before, and on the wedding day
  • May give a speech at the reception


  • Attends pre wedding parties
  • Assists with planning of pre wedding parties
  • Assists the bride on the wedding day

Best man

  • Plans the bachelor party
  • Assists the Groom before, and on the wedding day
  • Looks after the wedding ring
  • May give a speech at the reception



Photo by Rob and Lauren

  • Attends pre wedding celebrations
  • Assists the Groom before, and on the wedding day
  • May also act as ushers


The ushers arrive at the ceremony location well before the start time. As each guest arrives, an usher will escort them to their seat. The usher will also escort parents of the bride and groom and ensure they are seated on the correct side of the venue.

Flower girl

The flower girl comes down the aisle before the bride scatters petals for the bride to walk on. Though there are so many variations, she might carry a pomander of flowers, hold a teddy bear or carry a basket of petals or paper stars to scatter. Normally aged between 3 and 7.



Photo by Melissa Koehler

Usually carrying the rings (or at least ‘pretend’ ones if the bride and groom are too nervous for the real ones to be out of their sight) on a pillow, the ring bearer is usually close to the bride and groom and aged between 3 and 7. Other variations include ringing a bell, holding a bible or holding a sign announcing the bride’s arrival.

Junior Bridesmaid

The perfect role for a special girl who is a little too old to be a flower girl but a little too young to be a bridesmaid. She might wear a modified version of the bridesmaid gown or a complimentary dress. She does all the things a fully fledged bridesmaid might do on the wedding day.

Ceremony Participants


Having readings in your ceremony that are special to you can add a nice touch. A church ceremony may involve readings from the bible, whereas a civil ceremony may involve a reading of a poem, sonnet or story that is special to you.



Photo by Ryan Phillips

You may have friends with musical talent- enlist them! A song sung by a talented friend is personal and refreshing.


For a young family member that desperately wants to be involved, having someone to pass out wedding programs may be a nice role.

Reception Participant

You may be able to think of a special role for that special somebody – for example:


Photo by Kim Le Photography

Speech – that special person may like to make a toast or speech to the bride and groom

Music – they may compose or sing a special song

Guestbook Attendant – they may like to supervise the signing of the guest book, encouraging all the guests to sign the book.

Above all – approach each person who is to play a role with sensitivity and care, gauging from their reactions to your request whether they are truly happy to be involved. After all – you want everyone to feel loved and cherished on your big day!

  • Lauren says:
    August 19, 2008 at 10:46 am

    This is so good, I really like it. Thanks for posting. My favorite part is calling your Matron of honor “Chief” of honor. 🙂 My sister doesnt like Matron either.

  • Melissa Koehler says:
    September 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Thanks for having my image up there. Have a great day!

  • wedding speeches says:
    May 8, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Best man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding.

    While the best man’s required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of a western white wedding, the best man will typically:

    * assist the groom on the wedding day,
    * keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony,
    * act as a legal witness to the marriage, and
    * make a toast to the bride and groom at the reception. (Formerly, the best man would read out the telegrams of those who couldn’t attend). This is known as the Best Man Speech or toast.



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