The cake cutting at a wedding is a bit of a delight, isn’t it? It’s one of the very last formalities of the wedding day, and let’s be honest-most people are ready for something decadent and delicious by then. And, if you ask us, cake tasting is one of the highlights of planning the whole thing.
But where did the whole ritual start? What does it mean, and does anyone actually have to do it anymore? That’s what we’re diving into as part of The Traditions Issue – unpacking the old, making sense of the new, and giving you permission to just do what feels good.
So, where did the cake-cutting tradition come from?
Today, cutting the cake is a classic wedding moment of symbolism, your first little “act” as a married couple, but like most wedding traditions, it didn’t start out this way.
In Ancient Rome, a loaf of barley or wheat cake was broken over the bride’s head to symbolise luck, fertility, and, yes, her purity. Over time, things got less messy and more symbolic. By the Victorian era, white-iced cakes were a sign of wealth and purity, and the tradition of the newlyweds cutting the first slice together took centre stage. Kissing over the cake symbolising the couple’s forthcoming luck with producing children.
The meaning has shifted too. Some say the groom’s hand over the bride’s shows support and partnership. Feeding each other a slice? That’s meant to symbolise looking after one another. Cutting from the bottom tier is sometimes called a nod to building a strong foundation together.
These days, it’s all about teamwork, joy, and a bit of fun (or maybe a bit of cake in the face if you’re feeling cheeky). Like most traditions, it’s evolved – and that’s what makes it yours.
Header and above photos by Alex Motta Cake by Ladybird Cakes via Pat and Lucy’s Modern Winter Wedding at The Trust
Is cake cutting still a thing?
Some couples love it – a sweet moment, a crowd pleaser, a reason to pause for dessert. Others? Not so much. If the thought of everyone staring at you with their cameras out makes you cringe, you’re not alone. These days, you’ll find all kinds of approaches: some do it quietly, some put on a show, and others skip it altogether in favour of doughnuts, cheese wheels, or a gelato cart.
When does it happen?
Usually, cake cutting happens after speeches or dinner, before everyone hits the dance floor. Years ago, couples would often cut the cake as soon as they entered the reception, mainly so the photographer could capture it before leaving. These days, you can do it whenever feels right. Most couples wait until after the main meal and speeches, with the MC announcing the moment. Often, the cake cutting leads straight into the first dance, setting the stage for the party.
One of our favourite modern twists is cutting the cake and having a champagne toast right after the ceremony. It means everyone gets dessert and a glass of bubbles to celebrate those just-married vibes from the very beginning.
How to do the cake cutting your way:
There’s no single right way to cut your wedding cake. Start by picking a cake- or honestly, any dessert (or savoury treat for that matter) you’ll actually enjoy eating together. Before the big moment, decide if you’re leaning toward a sweet little “feed each other” or you’re both up for a gentle cake smash. (Zero judgement, either way, but communicating beforehand is key!)
Tradition says to cut from the middle of the bottom tier, but if you want to do things differently, go for it. Cue up a song you both love, gather your guests, and have fun with it. That’s really all there is to it—the best cake cutting moments are the ones that feel most like you.
Cake Cutting Songs That Aren’t Sickly Sweet
If you want a cake-cutting moment that skips the syrupy love ballads, you’ve got options. Think playful, upbeat, and a bit unexpected—something that sets the tone for fun.
- “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies
- “Sweet Creature” by Harry Styles
- “Cake by the Ocean” by DNCE
- “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)” by James Taylor or Marvin Gaye
- “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard
- “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond
- “I Want Candy” by Bow Wow Wow
- “Sweetest Thing” by U2
- “Happy Together” by The Turtles
- “Good as Hell” by Lizzo
- “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates
- “On Top of The World” by Imagine Dragons
- “Dancing in the Moonlight” by Toploader
- “Can’t Stop the Feeling!” by Justin Timberlake
- “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” by Natalie Cole
- “Love on Top” by Beyoncé
- “Best Day of My Life” by American Authors
- “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles
- “Cuts Like A Knife” by Bryan Adams
- “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This),” by The Eurythmics
- “Yummy” by Justin Bieber
- “Today Was A Fairytale” by Taylor Swift
Photos by Alex Motta Cake by Ladybird Cakes via Pat and Lucy’s Modern Winter Wedding at The Trust
Don’t want to do the cake-cutting tradition? Here are some alternatives:
Skip it entirely
Obvious, but let’s get it out of the way- there’s no rule that says you have to cut a cake. Just don’t do it if it’s not your thing.
Make it discreet
If you still want that cake cutting moment, you can always make it low-key. Grab your photographer, sneak away at some point during the night, and cut the cake quietly. No announcements, no fanfare, but you still get that sweet moment (and the photo) for yourselves.
Cut something different
If you like the “first cut” moment but cake isn’t your thing, slice into a wheel of cheese, a doughnut tower, pavlova, pie, or even a croquembouche. The first bite together can be anything you both actually want to eat.
Do a champagne tower
Not into cutting food? Pour a champagne tower, or go with martinis, margaritas, espresso martinis—whatever you both love. It’s a celebration moment that’s fun for everyone to watch.
Make it a private moment
If the spotlight isn’t your style, share a slice just the two of you. Take a moment after the ceremony or sneak away during the night and enjoy a piece of cake together away from your guests.
Serve a dessert bar
If you’re still up for sweets but not the formalities, create a dessert bar with all your favourites. Think brownies, cupcakes, slices, or family recipes. Unveil it when the dance floor opens for an extra hit of energy.
Make it a dance floor treat
Keep the vibe up by having waitstaff hand out cake or mini desserts on the dance floor. It’s casual and keeps the celebration going.
Bottom line: If cake cutting is your jam, make it a moment. If not, let it go and just do you.
Still searching for the perfect cake (or alternative)? Browse our cake designers and dessert makers here.
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