Today on Polka Dot Wisdom, the always-inspiring, celebrant, MC and all around “joy-bringer,” Zee Scott shares her expert take on creating truly meaningful pre-wedding gatherings. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the “dinner and drinks” loop or wondered how to host an inclusive, heart-filled celebration that actually connects your guests before the big day, this one’s for you. Here are some creative ways to bring everyone together before the wedding. 

Photography by Nikki McCrone 

When you’re planning a pre-wedding gathering, it can be easy to fall into the dinner and drinks trap. Which is lovely, yes, but also? A bit… expected. And maybe not so great when your guest list includes besties from high school, your 12-year-old cousin, and your nanna who needs a comfy seat.

As a long-time event host, I’ve seen the most magic happen when couples bring their people together before the wedding day in a way that’s fun, low-stress, and most importantly, inclusive. Time after time, I’ve witnessed pure joy at the kind of activity where everyone – from the champagne sipper to the mocktail drinker, the loud laughers to the quietly creative – can take part and feel connected.

Does this feel like a unicorn idea to you? Think it’s not possible? Trust me… it totally is. Here are my top tips for hosting a memorable event (memorable for the right reasons).

Photography by Nikki McCrone 

1. Get Crafty

Hands-on activities are a secret weapon for breaking the ice. They allow guests to focus on the task at hand, which takes the pressure off small talk and awkward introductions. More than that, they create moments of genuine connection – watching someone surprise themselves with a hidden talent or bonding over who has the steadiest piping hand or the most ‘unique’ painting technique.

Some activities that work well for a variety of age groups and personalities include:

  • Paint and Sip: This can be held in a studio or at home with a mobile teacher. You don’t need to be ‘good at art’- the fun is in following along and watching the different interpretations unfold. You can paint objects, people or even each other for something more lighthearted.
  • Flower Crown Making: A great fit for daytime celebrations, especially when paired with a garden setting or a boho picnic vibe. Most workshops provide seasonal blooms and instruction and guests get to take home a fresh, wearable creation.
  • Candle or Perfume Workshops: These offer a sensory experience with a personal twist. Guests can blend their own scents, choose vessel styles and leave with something they made that will actually be used – no dust collectors here!
  • Cake Decorating (like Bento and Bubbles) – This format is ideal for mixed groups. Everyone receives their own cake and tools, chooses colours and styles. Each person creates something totally custom. It’s creative, interactive and doubles as dessert.

Each activity can be customised to suit your group’s personality – whether that’s laid-back and intimate or high-energy and full of banter.

Photography by Nikki McCrone 

2. Make it Mobile

If a venue doesn’t suit your guest list or budget, consider hosting the event at home or in a private space like an Airbnb. These kinds of gatherings create a relaxed, low-pressure environment where guests feel more at ease, especially when they’re meeting for the first time.

For example, setting up a backyard grazing table with a few DIY stations (like cookie decorating, cocktail mixing or mood board collaging) creates opportunities for casual interaction without needing a full itinerary. A playlist curated by your guests can serve as a conversation starter – everyone adds a song and tells the story that goes with it when it’s played.

Mobile vendors and facilitators can bring everything you need to your doorstep, so there’s no need to stress about equipment or set-up. It also allows for greater accessibility for guests who may have mobility needs or children in tow.

3. Choose an Inclusive Venue

Your venue sets the tone for the event, so accessibility and comfort – for all of your guests –  should come first. That includes things like entry ramps, wide walkways, accessible toilets and comfortable seating with good visibility for all guests.

Noise levels can also impact how your group interacts. A busy bar or loud restaurant may be overwhelming for older guests or anyone who feels anxious in loud environments. Choosing a quieter venue or hiring a private space, gives you better control over the soundscape and vibe.

Don’t forget about drink options. Not everyone drinks alcohol and a good mocktail menu goes a long way in making everyone feel considered. Many venues now offer non-alcoholic spirits, sparkling teas and low-sugar sodas as alternatives that still feel festive.

And yes – consider your lighting. Soft, natural light is not only more flattering for photos, it also makes the space feel welcoming and warm.

Photography by Hyggelig Photography

4. Break the Ice (Without Making It Weird)

You don’t need formal introductions to get people talking. Instead, build in gentle, interactive elements that naturally encourage connection. A photo wall with Polaroids can double as an arrival activity and an event keepsake. Guests can snap a pic and leave a message or you can create a shared guest book with photos and well wishes.

If your budget allows, hiring a content creator to roam the event and take candid shots makes everyone feel included without the need to pose or plan. Bonus: you’ll end up with a professional record of the day that doesn’t rely on someone’s iPhone battery.

Other easy options include writing prompts – like “share your favourite memory of the couple” or “one piece of marriage advice” – placed in a jar or attached to favour tags. You could also display a curated wall of family photos, including those who can’t be there on the day. It’s a beautiful way to honour your history while creating space for new connections.

5. Keep It About Connection, Not Perfection

The best pre-wedding events aren’t the most extravagant or expensive. They’re the ones where everyone feels welcomed, relaxed and a little more connected than when they arrived. That doesn’t mean everything has to go to plan – it means the plan allows room for play.

Let people be a little messy, a little silly and a lot themselves. Whether it’s cake icing that goes sideways or a flower crown that turns into a bracelet, the joy is in doing something side by side, not in achieving a picture-perfect result.

It’s not about creating content – it’s about creating memories.

Photography by Nikki McCrone 

6. Be Mindful of Budget and Inclusion

Pre-wedding events can quickly add up. A spa day here, a winery lunch there, a few dinners and drinks in between and suddenly you’re asking your guests to spend hundreds before the big day even arrives.

Not everyone can afford that and many won’t feel comfortable saying so.

To keep things inclusive, consider hosting one main event that’s low-cost or covered by you, with optional extras for those who can (and want to) do more. Or choose an experience that feels premium but is packaged at an accessible price point. Some workshops offer group rates, BYO options or scaled packages that help keep costs down while still delivering a quality experience.

When planning your celebration, check in with yourself: will this choice bring people together or create pressure? If it’s the latter, it might be worth rethinking.

Because when it comes down to it, your people are showing up for you – not the food, not the venue, not the flowers. Just you.

Whatever you plan, just know this: it doesn’t have to be big or fancy to be meaningful. It just needs heart and intention.

Photography by Nikki McCrone 

About the author: Zee Scott is a Melbourne-based marriage celebrant and MC known for her vibrant, personable, and inclusive approach. She specialises in creating unique, heartfelt ceremonies that reflect the personalities and love stories of the couples she works with. With a focus on making weddings both fun and meaningful, Zee ensures that every ceremony is memorable, engaging, and tailored to the couple’s vision.

Thank you to the wonderful Zee Scott for sharing this insightful and heart-filled guide to creating pre-wedding moments that truly bring people together.