Today on Polka Dot Honeymoons we have freelance writer and producer, Chris Binns sharing his fabulous journey from his fabulous fairytale Australian country wedding to an all-inclusive adventure at Club Med Kani in the Maldives. Filled with thrilling activities like trapeze lessons, scuba diving, and surfing, and balanced with romantic moments in an overwater villa and beachfront bungalow, their week was a perfect blend of relaxation and excitement, highlighting the unique experiences and vibrant atmosphere offered by the resort. Enjoy Dotties!
It’s not every day you spend a week on a tropical island, eating like royalty at banquet buffets, diving with sharks, getting massages, surfing your brains out AND joining the circus, but it’s not every day you fly straight from your fairytale Australian country wedding to the Maldives.
While I hope to never repeat the experience, I could happily have kept living it forever. My radiant bride Stephanie and I were married at her parents’ picture-perfect property on the Friday, and as our festival of love was simmering down we caught the last international flight outta town on the Monday, leaving a swathe of relatives and cleaning up in our wake. Sorry!
Wedding photos by Marc Llewellyn / @emvielle_weddings
Although Steph and I promise we’re still good fun, our best partying days are behind us, and lazing on a beach with cocktail in hand wasn’t how we were looking to celebrate our celebration. Stephy is a yoga instructor, I’m a surfer, and neither of us can stay still for too long. We locked in a honeymoon package at Club Med Kani in the Maldives hoping to spend every spare minute in, on and around the Indian Ocean, when not staring endlessly into each other’s eyes, of course.
Neither of us had done an all-inclusive holiday before. It had never been on our radar, but rules are meant to be broken and we already had planning and logistics coming out of our ears with the wedding so why the hell not? Upon touching down in the Maldives, actually having someone there brandishing one of those little signs with our name on it to greet us, before ushering us to our waiting transport was a welcome break from our regular travelling program. And water taxis are way cooler than their terrestrial versions too.
Soon after docking on the picturesque island of Kani, we walked into our stunning beachfront bungalow to the rose-petal welcome of our clichéd honeymoon dreams, complete with a selection of honeymoon vouchers, a bottle of champagne, and the robes and slippers we would try to live the rest of our week in. We decided then and there that this week was not the time to be cool; if it was on offer we were doing it. We went for a swim to rinse off the flight, pinched ourselves to check this was actually happening, and promptly signed up for trapeze lessons. A short time later we found ourselves swinging canopy-high through the swaying palms, coached and high-fived by an enthusiastic troop of staff, cheered on by our fellow acrobats. We were away.
Above photos by Mohammed Aflaah/@mhmedaflaah
A Club Med holiday is not like any other. While normal procedure at a fancy pants resort would suggest the staff are to be seen and not heard, at Club Med a large chunk of your experience is driven by the young, fun, and endlessly energetic team of staff from all corners of the globe. A sports team from the good old days if you will, who work hard by day, play harder by night, and dare you to keep up. A large portion of the guests, of all ages, are happy to rise to the occasion, and for many, this is the magic in the formula that sees them coming back to Club Med’s 65 resorts around the world again and again.
Every morning we would walk out of our villa and cross paths with a staff member in a garish outfit, from fluoro Friday to floral on Saturdays, or all white for that evening’s White Night extravaganza. Without fail they would greet us with big smiles, ask about our plans, encourage us to join them in whatever their specialty was, and generally inject our day with excitement before we’d even seen our first coffee. At meals the staff sit with you, quiz you on your day and what’s in store, and regale you with what they do, and where they hail from.
On Kani, there are lots of Maldivians and Europeans, Koreans and Japanese, the occasional Brit or Aussie, and a surprising number of Indonesians, who started their Club Med careers in Bali and are now spreading their wings internationally. As folks who’ve spent a lot of time in Indonesia there was a genuine fellowship felt every time we crossed paths with one of our northern neighbours and shared an “Apa kabar?” and a smile. Suffice to say, the spa on Kani, powered by our Balinese mates, was as good as it gets. Highly recommend.
While Aussies head anywhere overseas expecting everyone to speak fluent English as their second language, Club Med is of course French, and it was a charming surprise to realise we were surrounded by Francophiles in all their glory. From greying men playing Petanque in Speedos, to elderly women wearing next-to-nothing and worshipping the sun like they were solar-powered, and both genders doing it with vin rouge in one hand and a menthol cigarette in the other, we may as well have been on the Mediterranean. It goes without saying the cheese and dessert selection was fantastic at all times, while daily we had some kind of stereotypically French interaction that left us laughing. The joie de vivre is real!
We locked in a couple of scuba dives over the course of our stay, which required a medical. When the outrageously French resort doctor was asked to give us a quick health check it confused him immensely that we both take medication for anxiety. Suddenly he could no longer speak English, but what he did say we understood clearly.
“Perhaps more time in zee nature? At zee plage? Go for un walk and look at zee stars at night?” he grimaced through pursed lips, like a tyre with a slow puncture.
At that point, if the doctor had worn a beret on a jaunty angle, a string of onions around his neck, thrown a baguette under his arm, told us his name was Jean-Claude and then ridden off on a bicycle, we would not have been surprised one bit. He was magnificent, and once he was done with the theatrics he signed off on us happily enough. The next time we saw him, he was drinking a lunchtime beer and eating moules and frites. Legend.
Our time on Kani developed a beautiful daily rhythm. I would get up and catch a boat out to the waves firs thing, leaving Steph to do some yoga, walk a five-minute lap of the island and have a swim. We’d meet for late morning coffee, then spend time on the beach, or reading, or generally just being boring and trying to restore some energy after a crazy month, but doing it in the most magical setting imaginable. In the afternoon we’d snorkel or dive (chasing sharks an absolute highlight), grab a kayak or standup paddleboard, basically anything to burn off the bountiful buffets, then tick off one of our honeymoon treats.
The couples’ pamper session at the spa was superb. The romantic dinner – lobster and wagyu served at a table-for-two on a white sand beach, under the moonlight, with not another soul to be seen – was as good as it sounds. The honeymoon photo shoot? One for the ages.
“No”, I had to explain to our fantastic Maldivian photographer Aflaah, we hadn’t brought our wedding outfits. In fact, we didn’t really have anything formal at all.
“No”, I almost apologised, we hadn’t really been prepared for this, nor did we think we could keep a straight face. Aflaah just smiled, he’d seen this before. Steph and I to remind ourselves again that this was not the time to be cool, to put on our best matching turquoise resort wear, and to smile our faces off for the best part of two hours, laughing like no one was listening, dancing as if no one was watching, and loving like we’d never been hurt. The results? Cute, probably won’t delete later, telling thousands of words that we’ll cherish forever, much like our week in the Maldives really.
Above photos by Mohammed Aflaah/@mhmedaflaah
On our last night, we checked into an overwater villa, to sign off in style. Long a bucket list item for Steph, I thought I’d be indifferent but couldn’t have been more wrong. Seeing sharks swim under your bedroom is a joy everyone should experience once in their lives, and even just sitting in the bath watching the sun set into a silky ocean was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
We came to Kani with no expectations and flew home thinking we might just be Club Med converts. Our mission to have an active honeymoon was a resounding success, and there’s no reason we couldn’t apply the all-inclusive approach to future holiday plans. L’esprit de corps of the staff is infectious, the food is abundant and delicious, the activities endless, and the Maldives need to be seen to be believed. And besides, who’s to say we won’t have kids that want to join the circus one day?
Sunset photo by Mohammed Aflaah/@mhmedaflaah
A huge thank you to Chris for sharing your stunning Maldivian adventure with us today!
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