Ko te mea nui ko te aroha. The greatest thing is love.
Kia ora koutou, nau mai, haere mai! Welcome to Aotearoa, home of Pavlova, Lord of the Rings and some of the most amazing landscapes in the world. Being such an awesome place, Aotearoa is also a top choice for weddings – whether you are an LOTR fan, into adventure and adrenalin, or prefer some wine in some of the most amazing wineries in the world, there is something in Aotearoa for every couple getting married.
More and more, people are wanting to acknowledge and incorporate Te Reo Māori (Māori language) and Tikanga Māori (Māori customs and traditions) into their wedding celebrations as a sign of respect both for the whenua (land) that they are choosing to marry on, and for the tāngata whenua (people) to whom this land belongs. And I am here to tell you how you can do this in “Ways To Incorporate Māori Customs Into Your Wedding!” with me – Philippa Thomas Celebrant!
Image: Black Label Photography
Māori people are indigenous to Aotearoa New Zealand, having arrived from eastern Polynesia sometime in the 14th Century. Much of tikanga Māori has been carried through generations and plays a large role in many Kiwi households today. Simple things such as not sitting on tables where food is prepared or eaten are taught from a very young age, and basic Te Reo is a big part of the curriculum in schools. And Te Reo use in Aotearoa is on the rise, with more and more people incorporating it into their day-to-day life.
Marriage in traditional Māori society was a little different to the common law marriages that we are used to today. Often children were promised in marriage from a young age, and marriages were arranged under an agreement between a hapū (subtribe) or iwi (tribe) because retaining resources such as land or food-gathering rights was critical to the survival of individual tribes. However, on occasion people did still find their own partners and sought approval from the senior members of their iwi or hapū to marry.
Images: James Hirata
Rangitira (chiefs, leaders of a tribe) were the exception to marriage within the group – young men and women of high rank were carefully chosen to create or maintain links between iwi. When a rangitira got married, there were great celebrations with great feasts, and while there was no formal marriage ceremony as we know it to be today, often a taonga (gift or treasure) was gifted from one family to another.
Māori marriage traditions grew and adapted throughout the 19th and 20th centuries and by the early 1950s traditional customary Māori marriages were no longer considered legally binding. However, many of these tikanga are still celebrated and incorporated into celebrations today.
Image: Alpine Image Co
As a marriage celebrant and a proud Māori woman, it’s always an honour to incorporate any element of my culture into a wedding ceremony, whether that be a simple greeting, a Māori proverb, a ring blessing or something entirely different. While I was born and raised in the North Island (Te Ātiawa, Taranaki), I have great respect for the iwi in the area I now call home (Tāhuna / Queenstown) and take guidance from both my own whānau (family) and the local iwi when looking at new ways in which to intertwine tikanga Māori into my ceremonies.
Most importantly, as a people Māori are welcoming to anyone who chooses to embrace our culture, whether that be by reading some history of the area, learning basic Te Reo or allowing the language to be spoken during your wedding ceremony.
You’ll even notice when you get married in Aotearoa New Zealand that your marriage licence has parts written in Māori, and you can in fact have an entire ceremony in Te Reo if you choose, as Māori is one of three official languages here (along with English and New Zealand Sign Language)!
Images: Mountain Weddings
So how can you incorporate Te Reo Māori into your wedding ceremony? What elements of Māori culture can you bring to your wedding?
• Selecting a Māori wedding celebrant is a great place to start, as they will often already have the base knowledge and can support you through whatever it is that you choose to do, in the correct way.
• You can begin and conclude your ceremony with a karakia (prayer) – a karakia is used to invoke the spiritual goodwill of a gathering, to increase the likelihood of a good outcome.
• Your celebrant can welcome you and your whānau and friends with a beautiful Māori introduction – the language is so beautiful you’ll want to listen to it all day! They may also say a brief mihi, a short introduction of who they are and where they are from
• Aotearoa has some wonderful waiata (songs) that fit perfectly into your wedding ceremony – in 2019 and again in 2021 a group of Kiwi artists collaborated to release many popular songs in Te Reo Māori, and you can find many of these on Spotify or Apple music simply by searching for the album “Waiata / Anthems”. These would be amazing for walking down the aisle, or as a celebration once you’ve sealed the deal!
• Whakataukī play a large role within Māori culture – proverbs and poetic expressions of wise sayings that are used both in formal settings and in day-to-day life. Some of these fit perfectly within a wedding ceremony. One of my favourite whakataukī blesses the couple, and is a great way to finish a wedding ceremony and blessing your future, your marriage and acknowledge the land around you:
o Kia hora te marino; kia whakapapa pounamu te moana; kia tere te karohirohi imua i tou huarahi.
May the calm be widespread; may the surface of the ocean glisten like the greenstone; and may the shimmer of summer dance across your path forever.
• Pounamu (greenstone) is a taonga (treasure) in Aotearoa, valuable and incredibly special to anyone who is gifted it – you could consider using this as an alternative or addition to the standard ring exchange. When purchasing pounamu, make sure that it’s New Zealand pounamu as many places also sell a less valuable variation of jade from Canada or Japan. If you choose to gift someone a pounamu pendant, check with the seller or other Māori people about the tikanga around these – for example, you wouldn’t ever place a pounamu on yourself for the first time, this is always to be done by another person.
Of course, these are just a few ways you can incorporate Te Reo Māori into your wedding ceremony – your celebrant will be a wealth of knowledge and will be more than happy to work alongside you to make sure your wedding is amazing and all that you want it to be!
Image: Michelle Fey for Eva Bradley
Aotearoa has a wealth of culture and knowledge to be explored and there are so few “rules” when it comes to getting married here, so you really do have full freedom to create the perfect wedding for you!
Kia pai tō rā!
He aroha te aroha – love is love
Image: Mountain Weddings
About Philippa Thomas Celebrant: Philippa Thomas (Ngāti Te Whiti, Te Ātiawa ki Taranaki) has been a celebrant for 8 years and has married over 700 couples in Queenstown, Wellington and all throughout Aotearoa. She loves doing everything she can to make sure that your wedding is exactly what you want it to be – there are no rules, just fun and love and all the good stuff. When she’s not marrying rad couples she’s spending time with her husband, her three crazy kids and her silly cat, she’s a bit obsessed with Formula One and she loves drinking all the coffee. He aroha te aroha x love is love
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