Image by Wesley Beelders from Eleanor & Jason’s Hamilton Island Wedding
On a day that’s all about ‘I do’, here’s a list of ‘don’ts’; ill-advised wedding tips often dished out by groomsmen or other unaccountable friends.
Take note of the below groom wedding day tips and save yourself from a ride on the retrospective remorse horse.
Don’t make a Lord of the Rings reference…
Your wife has a lifetime of movie references to look forward to no doubt. Spare her one day, and ‘One Ring…’
Don’t reveal the Superman tee under your tux…
Go ahead and wear it, but even the biggest Desperate Housewives fan doesn’t want to feel like Teri Hatcher on her wedding day.
Similarly, don’t flaunt your ‘Groom’ underpants…
Novelty briefs are best reserved for bachelors who intend to stay that way.
Don’t perform a surprise choreographed dance…
The wedding reception is too early for your wife to be questioning her life choices. Cool it, happy feet.
Don’t wing your speech…
You will inevitably resort to anecdotes about sex, your ex, or sex with your ex – three things that should be avoided at all cost. Be the Jared Leto, not the Matthew McConaughey.
Steer clear of internet jokes…
Especially ignore the one likening women to tornadoes. This applies for your best man too.
Don’t roast the mother of the bride…
Remember how long it took for her to tolerate you? Don’t undo all your hard work. If you’re killing for a grilling, aim at the father of the bride instead – even her mother will get a kick out of that.
Don’t quote song lyrics…
While Bruno Mars undeniably makes it very easy for the modern day groom, your regurgitated vows won’t sound as sweet during catch-up episodes of Glee.
Don’t get too drunk…
By all means enjoy yourself, but remember all eyes are on you and photos are forever. Don’t turn what should be an unforgettable day into one you can’t remember.
Check the football score tomorrow…
Switch off the iPhone or Jamie Lyon will be the only one scoring on your wedding night.
My hubby to be CAN do all of the above actually! Except maybe for roasting my mum and getting too drunk (though that is most likely a tip for me moreso than him haha). If together we picked a day during soccer season, I only have myself to blame haha.
Laughed all the way through – great post and great tips!