Photo by Mark Janzen Photography via June Bug Weddings
There are those that believe and try to convince you to also believe that children at a wedding are “full of magic” and “wonder” and “including them in your special day will add magic and wonder!” While I have looked on at weddings where children were included and exuded priceless charm – I always knew that I would have to keep my wedding child free and here’s why.
One thing you must realize is that no two children are alike. Some children may in fact sit quietly during your ceremony and then pose for the obligatory photos. But most may not. So, if you are not keen on the idea of a day that includes little ones, you are well within your rights to speak now or forever hold your peace. Here’s some tips on how to set the tone for a child free wedding.
1.Mention this on the invitation as a priority. There does not need to be a big deal made out of it. A notice on the bottom of the invitation, something like “We would appreciate your cooperation in ensuring this stays a child-free event” is all you need. Also, making sure the invitation is addressed to the two parents only – this is a clear message that the wedding is child free.
2.If your wedding is out of town or an overnight stay is needed, you are going to have to acknowledge that most people will not (and should not) travel away from their children. You may want to include a child minding arrangement for your guests.
3.Stand fast. If you are allowing some to bring children but not others, this may cause a feeling of resentment.
Child free weddings are not uncommon and you can’t please everyone that’s for certain. What makes the difference however, is a wedding where the bride and groom have truly considered the needs of their guests and done their best to make it a pleasure for them to be there.
Hi Karen, this was interesting to read! I have never been to a child free wedding however I have been to too many weddings where both bride and groom look frustrated because someone’s child keeps running around everywhere, ruining the pictures and playing far too close to the wedding cake! This is definitely something people should think about, although you should look after your guests, your day is your own and you should make it as comfortable as possible.- Juliet
Our wedding was child-free, a conscious decision we made right from the beginning. As a guest at weddings I have been frustrated by distractions and noises of children particularly in a formal wedding which might not be the right place for kids. We made this clear on our save the dates so guests had about 10 months to organise sitters, or other arrangements. We had no issues with this and our guests didn’t either as they had plenty of notice. In saying that though I have seen other weddings where colouring kits or something similar are made up for the kids to keep them busy and happy which could work as well particularly for a less formal day.