I came to the realisation a few years ago that I really wasn’t really the best Bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding.
In my defense I had only been a bridesmaid once before for a close school friend. After years of photographing weddings, I can now openly admit that I had no idea of how to be a great bridesmaid. Sure, I was excited about my friend’s wedding and I was excited about being a bridesmaid. But, I had no idea about the responsibilities of bridesmaids… no one told me and I didn’t ask anyone either. So, what did I do? I got my dress, smiled lots and had heaps of fun. But what could I have done to help my close friend leading up to her wedding and on her wedding day?
After seeing so many amazing bridesmaids and a few not so great, I thought I might share some of my lessons with you. Here’s some ways I have seen bridesmaids help out the bride and be wonderful:-
How to Rock the Role of Bridesmaid
- Show appreciation that she has chosen you as a bridesmaid – send a cute handwritten note or little gift.
- Help the bride find wedding suppliers. Ask your friends for referrals of great weddings suppliers and pass these onto the bride. Recommendations are the best way to find trusted suppliers and the more, the merrier!
- Start up a Pinterest page with any cute wedding ideas that you find that you can share with her.
- Love the dress that you’re wearing… no matter what. Even if you kind of don’t like the dress, this isn’t about the Bridesmaids, it’s about the Bride’s special day. Expect to pay for the dress. Most often, the bride will pay for the bridesmaids dresses, but not all brides can afford this, so it is best to have the expectation that you may be paying for your dress and accessories.
- Help plan the Hen’s night and/or shower tea. Send through a bunch of ideas to the bride before she has even had the chance to think about it. I recently went on a really cool Amazing Race hen’s day which was really different and fun.
Now, we come to the wedding day, one of your biggest roles is to keep the bride calm & happy. Here’s how you can help:
- Be across the run order for the day (if you are the Maid of Honour) and have a copy of all of the suppliers contact names and numbers. Rather than the bride worry about timing and suppliers being on time, the Maid of Honour can help with this. Set an alarm on your phone 10 minutes before the next supplier is due ie florist, photographer, cars.
- While you want to help keep her calm, don’t send any false messages. For instance, if the day is running behind for some reason, it’s best not to reassure her that everything is actually running to schedule. You’re best to inform her in a calm way and help get things back on track.
- Pack an emergency kit/survivial kit for the bride including sewing kit, headache tablets, stress spray/drops, bobby pins, hairspray, mints, girly stuff, deodorant etc.
- Introduce yourself to the photographer and see if you can assist him/her with anything ie getting the dress/accessories for a photo.
- Pick up the dress for the bride she should never have to pick up the back of her dress, nor should her groom or anyone else like a driver.
- Hold her bouquet when she doesn’t need to be holding it.
- Participate. Avoid smoking during location shoots. Only bring your telephone if you have offered to be the main contact for wedding suppliers (otherwise, leave it at home as being present and in the moment is the most important gift).
- Have fun. Dance. If she is throwing the bouquet (and you’re single), be the first up on the dance floor to catch it!
Hope this helps!
Images by Welsch Photography
Ms Gingham says: Last time I was a bridesmaid I have to admit that I didn’t do this stuff either! Having been a bride myself I would have been so grateful if my girls (love them though I did) helped with picking up the dress too! This is such a great post for ALL bridesmaids to read!
About Welsch Photography: There’s something exciting about photographing a wedding – the bride’s excitement and the grooms nervousness is something we never quite get tired of. The joy of capturing those moments in photographs is the entire reason Welsch Photography exists today. It all started when we photographed Karl’s sister’s wedding. We loved the magic of capturing the emotions of a wedding day on camera, and bringing the images to life through a beautiful wedding album. Many years, and many weddings later, we still feel the excitement and the thrill at each of our weddings.
Love these posts – great information to have at your fingertips!