You’re engaged, and one of the first tasks on your to-do list is choosing your bridal party. This should be an easy straightforward decision, right? You have your girlfriends (or mates) that have been by your side through thick and thin. So then why is it that for so many people this becomes a complicated web?
The answers lies within the fact that feelings are part and parcel of the package – there’s the risk of hurting someone by leaving them out, the risk of being turned down should you ask someone out of the ordinary, the risk of questioning looks by others wanting to make the decision for you. Ultimately though, it is your choice to make and people need to respect your decisions.
Image by Lady Jayde photography
What not to worry about is having an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Anything goes these days, whether it’s the best man walking two bridesmaids up the aisle, or whether you include partners or family on the bridal table to even it up. I know of a groom who jokes that his bride-to-be simply needs five times the helpers to get ready on the day so she’s not late!
The same can be said for the ranking within the bridal party. Sometimes it’s simply impossible to differentiate attendants for the role of maid/matron of honour or best man. It is quite common now to have no differentiation at all, but rather order your attendants by height, by shade/colour of attire, or by positioning them opposite the partner they feel most comfortable with. Traditionally, you may wish to choose a maid of honour (unmarried) or matron of honour (married), and a best man. Again, the ‘who’ is a personal choice and they could be chosen for a myriad of reasons.
Image by Feather and Stone
When deciding who to ask to be part of the bridal party, think long term. Not just who has been there in the past, but who you can see as being there in the future. It’s amusing to watch the number of people who suddenly try to become close to the bride or groom in order to secure a coveted position! Also, try not to fall into the trap of asking someone in the hope they’ll return the favour one day, or being guilted into asking someone simply because you were part of their bridal party.
Image by Lady Jayde photography
You may want to consider the following people as your bridal besties:
- Siblings: You may have shared a room, shared toys or clothes, and you most likely share a special bond. With siblings you know you can totally be yourself.
- Future in-laws: Whether you have truly formed a friendship or it’s a welcoming gesture, future in-laws can be on the list for consideration.
- Cousins: Some families are extremely close and cousins may be just as part of your life as your own siblings or best friends
- Obvious Best Friends: They are your BFF, and everyone knows it. They are the obvious first person to come to mind, and you can’t imagine your wedding without them by your side.
- Close Friends: Often people are part of small groups of friends of 3, 4, or more. These are your closest friends and each brings something different to your life.
- Childhood Friends: You may have gone to the same primary school or youth group, but you still keep in contact and catching up is like going home for the weekend.
- High School Friends: Many of us form lasting friendships in high school – considering you spent five years growing up together, it’s no surprise.
- University Friends: Some say uni friends are the greatest friends… you’ve gone to class together, stressed together, and celebrated together.
- Work Friends: Whilst most colleagues are seen only in the work week, some people develop a quality social life outside of work with these people.
- Recent Future Friends: You may have only been friends a short while, but you can see your friendship continuing into the future with circumstances that will bring you together.
Image by Vellum Studios
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