Image via Wed & Wish
Modern times and modern needs have in some ways rendered traditional wedding registries obsolete. Many couples choose to live together before getting married, or simply get married at an older age. In both situations, it often becomes the case that a couple already has more than enough household items between them (and sometimes even has to downsize). Fortunately, couples getting married today are no longer limited to traditional registry items like blenders and serveware. Cash and honeymoon registries allow couples to register for virtually anything imaginable: a dream honeymoon, a down payment for a home or money for household items purchased later down the line.
While honeymoon and cash registries are an ideal solution for many couples, they do generate their own unique set of questions. When using a cash registry, it can be difficult to determine what pieces of traditional wedding etiquette are applicable and what is simply out-of-date. Here are some quick tips on modern registry etiquette.
Gifts
1. Leave the gift giving to the guests. Remember that giving a gift is by no means a requirement for guests, though most of them will be more than happy to provide one. Always register for multiple items – it will keep guests from feeling “forced” into a particular gift, and will give them the satisfaction of feeling like they chose something personally for you.
2. Have a wide range of different price points. No matter what kind of registry you have, it’s never a good idea to cater only to higher budgets. Listing smaller priced items in addition to mid-range and higher priced items will allow different guests to choose a gift that’s right for their budget and still feel like they’ve contributed to your new life together. To give a sense of comparison, the average cost of a wedding gift in the US is $85.
3. Have a traditional option. While cash and honeymoon registries are quickly becoming the norm, allow more traditionally minded guests the option to purchase from a standard wedding registry. We always recommend to couples using our service that they should supplement their honeymoon registry with a traditional registry that contains at least a few items that they foresee needing.
3. Be accessible. When creating your registry, make sure to register somewhere that is easily found either online or in a number of physical locations that are relatively close to your guests. Again, wedding gifts should always be considered optional, but giving your guests a greater number of accessible options will make them feel more secure in their ability to participate.
Image via Wedsite.com
Telling Friends and Family About Your Registry
Regardless of whether you have a traditional registry or a honeymoon registry, there tend to be a lot of wedding etiquette questions related to whether or not you should list registry information directly on your wedding invitation. While it’s understandable to be hesitant about listing your registry in a bold font on your invitation, it is also important to consider the accessibility factor listed above. Most guests do want to purchase a wedding gift, and it should not be difficult for them to figure out where you are registered.
There are a few potential ways to handle this. You can include your registry discreetly at the bottom of your invitation, or you can include it as an insert with your wedding invitation. You can also list your wedding website on your invitation (which will include helpful information about the proceedings in general), and from there link to your wedding registry. Social media offers some more cutting edge options for sharing a wedding registry – with some offering a feature that even allows couples to share their registry on Facebook.
Thanking Guests
Always thank guests for each and every gift. Let’s face it: even if you do your best to list differently priced gifts and have several registries to choose from, some guests are going to give you entirely random (and in some cases, unwanted) gifts. No matter what you receive, you should always send a gracious and personalized thank you note that includes some reference to the actual gift given.
Finally, remember to get your thank you’s sent out ASAP. While your guests probably are not timing how fast you send out your thank you notes, it’s in your best interests to send out thank you cards sooner rather than later. The further you get away from your wedding, the less diligent you are likely to become. A good tip is to try to send out thank you notes on a weekly basis as you receive gifts, even before your wedding actually takes place.
Ms Gingham says: I just love that technology can make things so much easier! Wedding websites are a fantastic way to provide information and get your guests excited about your wedding! Great article by Jaime of Wed & Wish!
About Wed & Wish: WedandWish.com is a wedding and honeymoon gift registry made for couples who prefer to receive cash gifts, in lieu of physical gift items from traditional department stores.
Great tips! We had a wishing well at our wedding as well as a registry to cater for both our families. We did end up putting it on the invitation with a message that we didn’t actually expect any gifts.
Great tips. We actually registered our list with an experience Registry http://www.champagnedreams.com.au, Champagne Dreams – The Wedding Registry. We engaged this service primarily because my husband and I have been living together for some time and have all the homewares we need. It was the best decision we made, we registered for some quite expensive gifts which our guests could contribute to. Probably our favourite gift was a personal chef who came to our home and cooked our friend and us an incredible 3 course meal with matching wine on our “styled” table (they provided the styling).
It is definitely worth a look, even if it is to accompany a regular gift list.
Good luck