Photo by Xiss Photography via The Role Of The Groomsmen
One of the many exciting things that happen when you get engaged is that the planning for the wedding can begin. While history tells us that this is normally the bride’s domain, speaking as a groom I can say that more and more often, this is not the case. The groom can and often is just as involved in the wedding planning.
Wedding expos are a popular starting point when organising your wedding. There is many a bride who heads off to these events with all her girlfriends and mother for a day of swooning over many beautiful things, while the groom is off with his mates with no care or interest. There is also many a bride who heads off to these with the groom in tow, who begrudgingly wanders along saying ‘yes dear’ whenever asked ‘oo do you like this?’.
Then, there is the groom that heads off to the wedding expos with as much interest and excitement as the bride. This is where something interesting happens. Because the industry is so geared towards selling to the bride, the groom is often ignored. Or a few token aspects are aimed at him, such as music and cars.
I have spoken with a number of grooms who tell the story of heading up to a stall to begin talking with a vendor about what they have to offer, only to have them ignore him and talk straight to the bride. This can be extremely frustrating. It’s not always the fault of the vendor, they often have to deal with the groom that has little or no interest in what they have to offer, so they default to going straight to the bride.
My advice to the engaged and involved groom; don’t be put off by the pitching direct to your lovely bride. Persist with talking to the many vendors and show that you are indeed one of those involved grooms. Although they may not be expecting it, most vendors love to chat with the groom when they know you are interested (though the wedding dress makers may still be keen to chat with your lovely bride).
Most of all, if you are one of the engaged and involved grooms, good on you. It is a wonderful time in the lead up to the wedding, even if it can be a very stressful time. Enjoy it as much as you can.
Ms Gingham says: It’s a fact that sometimes, amidst all the white tulle and fluffly veils, the groom can seem almost invisible. Here, Mr Polka Dot talks about a subject that is close to our hearts on Polka Dot Groom. In fact, we’re dedicated to giving grooms a voice! Because we know that weddings are better when the groom’s personality is on show as well as the bride’s.
Great article! I agree there are so many grooms out there who WANT to be more involved, but are scared off because all of the marketing is directed at what the bride wants for “her” day.
Loved this post too…as a celebrant I really ensure the the groom can be just involved as the bride, but also without being pushy. I try and size up the groom straight away and then pitch from there. I love it when I have a really interested groom with passion. For me it’s a really lovely change! Our grooms need to feel more empowered Mr Polka Dot, so thanks for highlighting that!
Good to hear from you, Mr Polka Dot! I agree – a wedding is so much better when you incorporate the likes, interests and personalities of both the bride and groom. And I think you’re spot on with your advice to grooms. Just be persistant, show your interest and they’ll eventually get the idea and be impressed by your awesomeness! 🙂
Well said, Mr Polka Dot!
Excellent article thank you