Beating the Wedding Blues

Illustration by Adam Zyglis/The Buffalo News

A few weeks ago it happened. I had a complete wedding meltdown.

After sending a despairing text message to my fiancé (something along the lines of “I hate my dress. What was I thinking? I have no idea how to do this!”), I spent fifteen blubbery minutes on the couch until he arrived home to soothe my shattered nerves. By this time I had pulled myself together somewhat, which is to say that I was now curled up in a tearstained ball clutching a soggy tissue.

Before my minor breakdown, I had rather arrogantly thought myself immune to wedding stress. In fact, I had been extremely proud of my organisational skills as I ticked things off our “to do” list with smug satisfaction. I was completely zen. A bridal Dalai Lama. After a few mishaps in our planning, however, my confidence began to waver. After two trials (one where I had ended up with makeup consisting entirely of varying shades of pink), I was no closer to finding someone to beautify me for the big day. I also had no idea what to do about music, our “to do” list seemed to be getting longer by the minute, and one of my bridesmaids had backed out of the wedding. This was to say nothing of my severe case of wedding dress doubts, which had now escalated to full scale panic.

It wasn’t just me who was feeling the pressure. My formerly involved, enthusiastic fiancé was now actively avoiding any mention of the wedding. Any mention of our nuptials was now met with an irritated grunt and a none-too-subtle change of subject. I in turn would make an uncharitable comment about his lack of interest and our conversation would deteriorate into a sniping match. After one of my co-workers told me that she and her fiancé were barely speaking by the wedding, I decided it was time for a break. So we took a wedding time out. For two whole weeks we did absolutely nothing nuptial-related. I also (temporarily) severed my addiction to wedding magazines, which was surprisingly liberating. Whilst weddings can be fun to plan, the reality is that we are bombarded with “inspiration” from every angle and the pressure to create the perfect day is enormous. Aside from being fun and exciting, planning can also be exhausting, stressful and expensive. There. I’ve said it.

Once I had distanced myself from the wedding I was able to put things into perspective. Even if my dress rips, I trip walking down the aisle and our reception tables collapse, I will still be getting married to the love of my life. He is why our day will be perfect, no matter what.

Ms Gingham says: I love this! Haven’t we all had moments in our wedding planning adventures where we thought things were the end of the world? At the end of the day, they’re just things. We forget the most important thing of all is us. Special thanks go to Adam Zyglis from the Buffalo News for permission to use his very appropriate illustration.

Karen says: “I’m 25 years old and I’m an aspiring writer trapped in the body of a lawyer! I also have an Arts degree with a Major in English, which saved my sanity during university and allowed me to do what I love – write! Last but not least, I’m a bride-to-be and I’m writing a book about planning my wedding and all the craziness that comes along with it (see, for example, being told that my wedding photos will be ”deformed” because my bridal party is uneven). I’m also working on a children’s manuscript.

I’m looking to inject some colour (and some polkadots if possible!) into my career. It’s my dream to write full time – so here’s hoping!”