Image via Decisions Decisions … by Belinda Fettke Photography

“Do you like lace?” the sales woman asked, gesturing towards a full-length lace gown and wearing an expression that clearly said, “Are we there yet?”.

“No, not at all”, I replied, trying to be as polite as possible whilst hiking up my fishtail gown and making a desperate attempt to dismount from the podium. I winced as the assistant, who had introduced herself as Lauren, proceeded to take the gown over to the changing room. As I reluctantly shuffled in after her, my maid of honour, Noelle, shot me a meaningful look. She knew my policy on lace. After much eel-esque wriggling to free myself from my fishtail, I finally donned the lace confection. Stepping out of the change room, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t look like a doily. There was also the added benefit that my walk hadn’t been reduced to a mincing shuffle. The shape was slim and elegant, and the cap sleeves lent an air of romance to the gown. It certainly wasn’t “my” dress, but it was lovely all the same. I began to explain to Lauren that, although the dress was beautiful, it wasn’t really my style and that I was in the market for something a bit plainer. Unfortunately, she was now brandishing an elaborately beaded gown in my direction. Despite my protests, Lauren stood firm and defeated, I slunk back to the change room.

Five dresses later and I still had only tried on one of the simple, A-line dresses I had been asking for. “Err, perhaps Karen could try on some of the other big dresses”, one of my bridesmaids interjected valiantly, gesturing to the rack of gowns that I had been eyeing longingly.

“No, I think we’re done with the big dresses” Lauren replied tartly. Stung by her harsh veto, I wobbled despondently off the podium. Making sure to lift my heavily beaded gown well out of the way of my shoes and their deadly, tulle-ripping heels, I made my way to the change room, all the while wondering … “What just happened?!”

The lesson? Many people will have their own vision of what they would like you to wear on your wedding day (friends, family and co-workers included!). If you’re lucky you will encounter sales people who are flexible and open to your unique style. If not, it’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with just saying “no”. Trying on wedding dresses can be a stressful and vulnerable time and it can be easy to get flustered by someone who is pushy or unpleasant. If you feel like you’re being pushed towards a style that is not your own, make sure to speak up, and keep speaking up until your voice is heard. After all, it’s your day, not theirs. If you want to wear a ball gown, wear a ball gown! If your dream dress is green with combat boots, then go for it! You deserve to feel happy and comfortable in whatever you choose to wear. After all, “it’s your day” shouldn’t be just an expression.

Ms Gingham says: Such great advice. Channel Gwen Stefani on her wedding day and stick to your guns!

Karen says: “I’m 25 years old and I’m an aspiring writer trapped in the body of a lawyer! I also have an Arts degree with a Major in English, which saved my sanity during university and allowed me to do what I love – write! Last but not least, I’m a bride-to-be and I’m writing a book about planning my wedding and all the craziness that comes along with it (see, for example, being told that my wedding photos will be ”deformed” because my bridal party is uneven). I’m also working on a children’s manuscript.

I’m looking to inject some colour (and some polkadots if possible!) into my career. It’s my dream to write full time – so here’s hoping!”