Excerpt from Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
“Still,” Morrie said, “there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
“And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?”
Yes?
“Your belief in the importance of your marriage.”
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
“Personally,” he sighed, his eyes still closed, “I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you’re missing a lot if you don’t try it.”
He ended the subject by quoting a poem he believed in like a prayer: “Love each other or perish.”
This excerpt should be read, discussed and agreed to by the couple LONG BEFORE the wedding day NOT at the wedding. The advice given in this book is to a young man who just told his old dying friend that he’s “thinking “ about getting married. This excerpt is taken out of context. It is wrong to recommend it as a reading during a wedding ceremony just prior to taking lifetime vows. I advise you to remove it from your site.
I completely disagree. We had this as a reading at our wedding and thought the words extremely appropriate. While the context within the book might not be what you believe is appropriate reading, this segment is meaningful and speaks about mutually held values.
Additionally, anything that any couple wants read at their wedding is perfectly acceptable. There is nothing to say what can and cannot be read and therefore the inclusion of this passage as a suggestion is both valid and applicable.
We totally agree Sandra. Different texts often mean something different to different people. This particular passage when read at a wedding likely speaks to things that have already been discussed by the couple and reflects their thinking. Plus it’s your day – anything goes!
Love is to will the good of the other as other, not for any type of personal gain, not out of fear of trouble . This love is the primary value that must be aligned by the married couple. Without that understanding of love we will perish. Marriage is a commitment not something to be TRIED. Too many people in our society confuse the primary purpose of the “wedding day”. This is the day to FIRST: commit your lives to each other forever and then celebrate that commitment. To say anything goes implies taking those vows lightly. And you “WILL HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE “. So many better readings than this one to express “Love each other or perish”.